I must be a Drama Queen…

My work colleague pisses me off. He likes to moan about his wife/work/money/wife/work all the time & I let him, regardless of my private eye rolling. Sometimes I encourage it as I feel he has no-one else to talk to.

We used to have so much fun about 18 months ago, but redundancies we’re made and our ‘group’ was seriously reduced. His moaning became a constant annoyance, and mishaps happened at work and we became angry with the company and one another. Unfortunately I was typing an email to a friend(to be honest, it was a full on bitch session about him – and it wasn’t pretty). This was never sent and I got rid of the email but stupidly I never checked it was removed from my deleted items…it wasn’t and my colleague subsequently found it.

I understand my own stupidity. I also understand how lucky I am that we have discussed this and come to an understanding and will eventually be able to ‘move forward’. Things have improved dramatically already and several issues between us have been resolved.

What I don’t understand is, this could have all been avoided if I hadn’t been so stupid. I wonder whether I subconsciously ‘crave’ drama in my life as this isn’t the first time I’ve done something so unimaginably ridiculous & not just at work. I’m fed up of hurting people.