Secret Confessions

So I work at a homeless shelter. The burnout rate for social workers is extremely high, and I now understand why.

I genuinely care about a lot of the people I work with. Many of them are good people who have fallen on hard times. Some of them work a hell of alot harder than I do, but things just cant seem to go right.

Others are system abusers, con men and women, and generally nasty people.

Some have some interesting mental disorders that make them the most annoying people in the world (through no fault of their own, of course).

I feel myself getting jaded. My smile is now fake when I tell the forgetful woman what time curfew is..every single night. I am having trouble listening to that guy who just wont stop talking in circles, and going off on tangents, you know, the crazy one who talks for thirty minutes to an hour, but never finishes a thought.

Worst of all, I feel myself not caring as much as I used to. I feel resentment. I catch myself blaming people for the crappy hand they have been dealt, which is something, as a sociologist, I promised I would never do.

My job can be very rewarding, the feeling of helping someone get back on their feet and independent again is wonderful. I see people on the street who came to me without hope, and leave with confidence and stability.

I just dont know how long I can keep going before that doesnt affect me either.