Frstrated with the call

I know that I am called to be a pastor. But I hate feeling snubbed by my peers because I have decided to work part time and only be licensed and not ordained so that I can spend time with my family. I went to seminary too, and I even learned original languages which many of you never did. So does that make me any less than you? I am frustrated with the system that has to put me into the licensed category and not ordain me because I don’t fit the mold. I hate that so much of what I learned in seminary was a waste and what I learned when I was pursuing an MBA has actually been more helpful. I hate that change in the church is always resisted instead of evaluated. I hate that I always feel tired because I have a hard time with balancing everything. I hate that some days I don’t even have time for personal devotion. I have a lot to pray about and much to change that’s in my control.