They would hate me if they knew
Oh, my family and friends think i’m just a “normal” kid. Well guess what f*ckers. I’m not. I watch weird sick porn, i fantasies about killing ppl, i cut myself and love too see my blood running down my wrist! I have even tasted my own blood, makes me feel like a vampire. I smoke, i drink, and i am everything they think i’m not. They will never know, and i love just smiling at them somethimes and having them say ” what are you smiling about?” just that i tasted my blood last night.. but u will never know ” nothing..”
Anonymous on May 23rd 2008 in Weird
?oorvi said on 23 May 2008 at 3:58 am # Quote
U know what,it’s not at all you fault.
By the way,what’s your age?
I just want to tell you,Believe in God;believe in His power and magic.He can get U out of the worse than the worst situation dear.I’ve experienced this myself.U R his child,He loves you.Just ask him for his help and his love.U’ll fell better,I’m sure.HE’ll help you.
They would hate me if they knew said on 23 May 2008 at 11:42 pm # Quote
Hey. i’m 16. uhm. i know ur trying to help me and all, but i don’t belive in god! and hey, i wanna stop cutting myself, but i love those other things i’m doing!
?oorvi said on 24 May 2008 at 5:34 pm # Quote
U know dear,I’m 16 too.And like you,I also didn’t believe in God.I used to hate him.But now I love him.
U know what,sometimes we get so used to our loneliness that we don’t want to get out of it.THe same is the case with you.But friend,life is beautiful,this world is beautiful,get out of your own darkness and enjoy the bright sunlight.Don’t let yourself wasted at such a young age.
And ok if you don’t want to pray 4 yourself,then I’ll pray 4 you.
ALL THE BEST.
They would hate me if they knew said on 25 May 2008 at 12:12 am # Quote
oh, you sounds older.. well i guess in a way, your right. but i don’t know how to get out of the darkness… i really don’t, i can’t pray to God when i don’t even belive he exists..
?oorvi said on 25 May 2008 at 2:22 pm # Quote
Believe me,I’ve just turned 16 on 12th of May,but have experienced a lot more than my age.
And not to worry,even if you don’t pray to God,he still loves you.He’ll help you get out of darkness,coz I’ll ask him to do so.He always does what is best for his children.
And here’s a way.Try talking to your mother or elder bro/sis about your psychological condition.They might fill up your emptiness.Because whatever is happening to you is just because you are lonely and empty in heart.
Ask for their support,otherwise you can seriously hurt yourself one day in cutting your own wrist.
Once again,ALL THE BEST.
?oorvi said on 25 May 2008 at 2:26 pm # Quote
?oorvi said:
And one more thing,THEY WON’T HATE YOU IF THEY KNOW.They are your family,they’ll understand you,trust me.
They would hate me if they knew said on 25 May 2008 at 9:45 pm # Quote
thanks for your help. but i really can’t talk to my parents about this kind of stuff.. and i don’t wanna bother my friends with my problems..
?oorvi said on 30 May 2008 at 10:25 pm # Quote
All right,I tried to help,but it seems as if you don’t really want to get out of it.Chill and enjoy your life.
I’ll keep checking this page for your reply,if ever you get out of your problem.Best of luck.
R said on 01 Jun 2008 at 11:48 am # Quote
If you dont want to talk to your family or friends.. try talking to someone that knows nothing of you or your family. someone that lives far away from you. for example ?oorvi..
They would hate me if they knew said on 02 Jun 2008 at 2:48 am # Quote
yeah. i will.. thanks
Anonymous said on 03 Jun 2008 at 4:23 am # Quote
I think the kid has enough problems without someone trying to ram religion down their throat.
Princess Starbucks said on 03 Jun 2008 at 8:25 am # Quote
Amen Anonymous!
ken-chan said on 04 Jun 2008 at 1:25 am # Quote
I’m going to be frank with you kid. If you are indeed telling the truth you are EITHER:
Sick in the head, so seek psychological help. Be honest with what you feel and tell your parents what’s going on in your head and not just “smile” at them like some freak.
OR
YOU JUST WATCH TOO MUCH TV AND ANIME, I know that attitude, you feel cool imagining those things huh? Being antisocial, empty, evil and all.
They would hate me if they knew said on 04 Jun 2008 at 6:40 am # Quote
I agree, amen Anonymous!
Ron said on 04 Jun 2008 at 6:10 pm # Quote
I agree wid ?oorvi.you should tell someone or u’ll harm yourself one day.Try to avoid that thing,do different things to distract your mind from that.You can go out with your frnz, watch movies[not horror or zombie type] play soccer or anything you like.Avoid being alone at home or anywhere else so your mind won’t be able to think of that.Be talkative and always try to be happy, this’ll also help you.you are young for smoking and drinking, plz stop that you are destroying yourself.I’ll keep visiting this and try to find a better solution. All the very best.
they-would-hate-me-if-they-knew said on 09 Jun 2008 at 2:26 am # Quote
ken-chan said:
YEAH it does make me feel cool, in a way ( i gotta be honest.. ) but still i know it’s weird and wrong.. i can’t stop. i’m a “normal” person when i’m with my friends and all..
empel said on 12 Jun 2008 at 1:18 pm # Quote
Do, I deserve this kind of life Im giving to myself???
Ans:
What will happen if I would be left out in this world? would I be weak and pity myself? or be strong for it!?.. what should I choose..
Ans:
What will i become years from now if my life still the same? will i be happy and contented?!…
Ans:
I dont believe in God! but who am I talking w/ when i am alone and in my deepest?..
Ans:
Im nothing in this world, Im cool, Im weird.. but do i need to be like Ds?!
Ans:
WHO AM I?
aNS:
I KNOW YOU KNEW URESELF.. But i will give you time to really knew who you are, and discover the things I believe you can do.. If you discover all of these in years to come then you can answer me back..
you know who i am, right? said on 13 Jun 2008 at 10:36 pm # Quote
iv’e got so many awnsers, i’m freakin’ confused guys!I have understood i prob should keep my probs to myself! Maybe i’m kina sick and twisted mentally, or i’m just trying to find out who i really am..? Whatever it is, i’m gonna go out, enjoy the summer, and stop giving a **** what everybody else thinks. Bye :)
po said on 17 Jun 2008 at 9:08 am # Quote
all i can say is don’t tell them… and umm… don’t kill anyone. yeah.
Anonymous said on 18 Jun 2008 at 3:02 am # Quote
po said:
i kinda had to awnser to this comment, beacause it’s the best of all the one’s i’ve go before! thanks
kaly said on 24 Jul 2008 at 1:34 pm # Quote
I also like to see my blood run down my writs and legs, it makes me feel numb
Anon said on 28 Jul 2008 at 12:26 am # Quote
Hey. I used to think exactly the same way when I was 15. I know you may find it hard to believe but chances are you will grow out of this way of thinking.
they-would-hate-me-if-they-knew said on 28 Jul 2008 at 9:19 am # Quote
Anon said:
or i’ll be a serialkiller! wooh! just kidding. yeah, i guess i will.
dude you have no fucking idea said on 07 Aug 2008 at 7:47 am # Quote
is it a ******* coincidence or what?! the only thing though ,i used to watch anime when i was younger im 16 now still no friends and still have little bit of problems(even sexual).i admit that hate god a little and i masturbate the shit out of myself.i have premature ejaculation. i admit i have a little hatred for god and his quiet patient ways but it is better than saying i love him when i honestly dont.he hasn’t done anything really extra good for me to get hyped on but i am grateful for what i have now and if it s he who provides then i thank him as well and pray to him sometimes.that took away all the dark clouds in my world.i love games and i love japan girls. i would love to visit there and learn to be on of the greatest game designers of all time. that made me Hyped!i don’t want money i just want a good house,good food a beautiful wife AND A WHOLE LOT OF GAMES so you go ahead and find something you really enjoy and no matter what people say turn it slightly into destiny!.
K said on 06 Sep 2008 at 3:26 pm # Quote
The fact that you are normal with your friends says that they are probably real impulses, not for attention. However, the fact that you share these online means that you might want some form of attention, and that you are sane, and do recognize your problems. As far as liking the taste of blood, who cares. Sick porn isn’t really hurting anyone, except perhaps your future partners if you are desensitized or act on violence. Smoking and drinking are both harmful, but the most upsetting thing was
K said:
I am a girl who loves playing video games, and I think of cool ways to kill people too. But, do you mean you would actually want to try something in real life? Any action you think about that would potentially hurt another person is extremely dangerous. It’s not fair for someone else to suffer for your own pleasure.
If you continue to have these thoughts, try to get some sort of unbiased, outside help. this is a good first step. Try anonymous psychologists online (liveadvice.com) or something similar. Talk to a counselor. Attemp this in small steps to avoid hurting yourself or others.
And maybe watch some regular porn, dude.
They would hate me if they knew said on 08 Sep 2008 at 10:17 pm # Quote
“i fantasies about killing ppl”
dude. i’m not gonna kill anyone. i just like to think about it.
and regular porn is boring.
and btw;i’ve kinda accepted myself for how i am now. so what if i do all those things? it’s how i am. i’m not dangerous, im not gonna hurt someone.
that’s alll in my head!
shey said on 19 Sep 2008 at 4:07 am # Quote
beeh … im a 15 year old girl >.> guess what too ? i live in a MUSLIM family and I do all these sick things … my faith in god is so weak >.<” I love porn :o i like to turn guys on ;o i guess im sick :P
They would hate me if they knew said on 19 Sep 2008 at 10:32 pm # Quote
shey said:
wow, muslim.. that must be kinda hard :o
well, it’s not sick to like to turn guys on.. lol
a16 said on 21 Sep 2008 at 11:44 am # Quote
ur not as weird as U think
I’ve seen pretty f****d up people…