In the closet forever.

There is this woman at the train station. I have the biggest crush on her. She has long brown hair, is around 5’7 and has soft brown eyes. She is kind of lean to medium build.
I found out some of her personal information on the internet- after finding out her name. I did a reverse address search on her home. (Which I only found out by accident.) She is an events coordinator for a big company.

I looked up her info, just to give her a name in my mind when I see her. Nothing will ever become of us. I am a woman also, and she is probably straight and homophobic.

I can barely even say “Excuse Me” to her. I don’t even walk past her anymore, even If I need to, no eye contact, nothing.
We ended up sitting next to each other one morning last week. I turned my back to her as if I was looking at something- the ENTIRE trip. I saw her reflection looking at me incredulously as I checked my watch like 20 times.
I just cannot say anything or do anything around her. Clumsiness strikes with a vengeance.

I am just happy to see her whenever she is there. That is that. One day I probably will leave this neighborhood, and never see her again, and oh well, that is life.
I’m just going to enjoy this for now- and who knows, maybe we’ll even say “good morning” to each other one of these days….yeah right!

8 thoughts on “In the closet forever.

  1. Be careful love, you have to try talking to these pretty girls sometimes or you’ll end up repressed. Say hi one day. Heck, ask her the time. There’s really nothing strange about saying good morning if you see each other almost every day at the station. No need to make a big fuss over it. Don’t do creepy things or you will end up like me, all insecure when real relationships do happen. If she reacts weirdly, well, what have you got to lose? You would go from being strangers, to still being strangers. But there’s always the chance you will go from being strangers, to something else.

  2. It’s nice that you like her as a person. If she is straight, please don’t mess with sharing that you are attracted to her, it’s the last thing she want’s to hear.

  3. if you really want to talk to her why don’t you just start with a simple “have you got the time?” and just carry on from there then eventually you would politely nod at her or something idk I’m shit at advice sorry.

  4. I used to imagine all sorts of negative scenarios out of unfounded fears, but if you initiate a talk, I doubt she’ll do anything drastic.
    The worst would be if she simply showed no interest at all.
    You have nothing to lose.

  5. Sounds like you’ve done a decent amount of research. (yikes lol ) You know where she lives? find out if shes married. I’m not advocating stalking but you’ve done some homework already. If she single thats a clue she might not care for dudes. If shes not single, talk to her anyway. If you see her often just start with a HI, break the ice.Maybe the next time mention you have seen her on the train often, tell her you ride it to work etc. she’ll converse if shes interested. life is short and you can tell alot by saying hello.

  6. Oh My God! Darling no…. Don’t be so shy. You really need to talk to her. Stop being so scared. You are living a regret at the moment. From one woman to another, Go live your desires, go talk to her.

  7. Talk to her one day darling, you never know till you try ;) such a sweet confession it made my night, wishing you all the best xx

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