What I Really Want to Say to my Wife
Posted by Anonymous in Spouse on Feb 17th, 2011 | 15 commentsXXXXX – right now it is a Wednesday night around 8:30PM. You’re snoring in bed, zonked out on sleeping pills. I’m sitting next to you and I feel like I may as well be living in another city. I’m thinking of all the things I want to say to you but I can’t for obvious reasons. Among them are the following:
Having children together was a terrible mistake.
I ran out of things to say to you years ago.
On our last anniversary, I ordered flowers out of a sense of obligation. I didn’t include a card because I couldn’t think of any honest, romantic sentiment to write.
Physically, you have become very, very unattractive.
Your general attitude is probably more unattractive than your appearance.
On the other hand, seeing you naked generally fills me with a sense of slight revulsion.
I remain married to you because it is currently more convenient for me to do so.
I remain faithful mostly out of lack of opportunities to do otherwise. It wouldn’t be the greatest thing to do, but I’m generally filled with so much self-hatred I can’t imagine it would make much difference.
My emotions towards you are limited to indifference, annoyance and hatred.
I don’t love you anymore and I can’t remember the last time I did.
15 Responses to “ “What I Really Want to Say to my Wife”
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You need to get a divorce – it’s killing you
I say this sincerely and without judgement…if you cannot fix what is broken, if you have no love left in your heart, please go. For yourself, and for her but mostly for your kids. Your words are like reading the mind of my father. He never said them allowed either, but she’s always known, and my brother and I have always known. Watching my parent’s marriage growing up destroyed my view of what a healthy relationship should look like. Living in a loveless home was my personal hell. They are still together, for over 40 years because of convenience and codependency. I’ve had a slew of bad relationships because they taught me it’s ok to accept less than I deserve. I’m alone because I’m so afraid that “love” always turns into indifference, annoyance and hatred.
Every child wants to know their father loves their mother. The pain of divorce is so much less than the pain of seeing endless unhappiness and wondering if you were the mistake that keeps them together in misery.
I have been where you are.
familiarity breeds contempt.
There is no point in staying for children or obligatory ideals.
Don’t imagine your partner doesn’t feel all the same things. Why otherwise would there be a need for sleeping pills. Why otherwise would she let herself go. Why otherwise would her persona be so lacking when the two of you were drawn together at some point past? It is time for change. The question is, do you have the courage?. Many don’t.
Oh my God, how tragic! How long have you been married? Can you talk to her to see if the marriage can be salvaged?
Is there anything she can do to make “better” the relationship?
If you’re that unhappy, she needs to know…
The weird thing you will find.. all your relationships will be like this. So divorce and get into another and repeat the situation, because you get what you give.
Divorce and you will find this out, and be missing your kids. The effort and change needs to be put within yourself. Good luck.
If you believe that having your children was a mistake then you are pathetic. People in relationships gain weight. You’re probably no prize either. Having children has permanent effects on a womans body especially after the 2nd or 3rd child.
I bet you never got up to change a crap diaper or feed any of your kids in the middle of the night. Inasfar as a card how about a simple THANK YOU
You stay not out of convenience but in all likelihood that bald spot and beer gut will interfere in meeting the Daisy Duke type you fantasize getting that will never EVER happen.
So be thankful that you have someone to share your insignificant life with. And that you have children who at least at this point doesn’t know any better.
And finally grow up and be a MAN!!!!
OK, so you have children with this women and you think that she’s unattractive, I honestly feel that she feels the same way about you. Let me tell you about women, Women plan in advanced who they are going to love and who they are going to wither away with. don’t ever think that she doesn’t feel the same way you feel because she does, she knows how you feel. She’s frustrated and lonely and she takes sleeping pills to get away from the harshness of reality. I hope you know that the compound of a sleeping pill is not only equipped with sedatives but also hallucinogenics.Be mine full of what you desire over what you might feel, but keeping someone lingering is not good at all, but actually dangerous. She will retaliate more harshly if you wait to tell her, because then she realize that she has wasted her time with you.
you know what tell you wife how you feel so she can leave you and move on to someone that appreciates her. from what youve said you dont deserve her anyways she deserves to be happy and with someone that actually loves her. what makes you so much better, who do you think you are? since your such a prize than go find that perfect woman you looking for if shes not attracative enough for you even though shes had your children. shed be better off.
Well said. I’ve been there myself. I found the strength to get out. It wasn’t easy, but life on the outside was so much better than the trap of a bad marriage. I think there a lot of people in your same situation. I resented my husband so bad. I hated everything about him. He repulsed me in so many ways. I hated him even touching me. When he snored I had visions of hitting on the head with a bottle; anything to get him to stop that annoying sound.
Good luck to you. I’d get out if I were you.
wow dude. I feel my husband thinks all of that. hes never said it, but I think he feels it.
we separated and he said some similar things (though not about me being unattractive which surprised me. as I sure feel it)
you need to break away now, sure its inconvienient but better than living like that for the rest of your life.
do it so with dignity. you dont need to tell her how unattractive you find her. shell probably already feel that anyway. but do it in a controlled sensible mannor and maybe you could turn out to be great parents who dont love each other..
goodluck
For I say unto thee, husbands love your wives and be not bitter against them!
please talk to her, for all of you, kids her and youself…it would bring a smile to yourself lot faster
It’s amazing how many comments are simply “give up”, “get out”, “divorce her”. I’m pretty sure you didn’t just wake up one day and have these feelings. I can guarantee she had something to do with it. Yet all the women on here are pointing the finger at the man. Forget about the fact that a lot of women look absolutely disgusting in a bathing suit and think that just because they are married they can just look any way and do anything. Give me a break. I could really go in on the females here but I don’t have the time or energy to waste. Where are all the independent women when it comes to taking responsibility for what SHE did to make him feel the way he does? Oh that’s right, it’s not your fault you look like a beach whale now. Just blame it on the stress which causes you to eat like there’s no tomorrow. Yea, that’s it!
D-I-V-O-R-C-E
I think every single comment has been correct. A marriage is a union between TWO people! First off, if you are having issues with YOUR wife, then YOU should tell YOUR WIFE! Yeah, its great you get to ‘confess’ it on here..but that will not solve your problems! It takes effort from both parties involved to make a GREAT marriage!! Second, if you have told her how you feel and you two haven’t worked any issues out, then it is time to throw in the towel. And having children was NEVER your choice! God has plans for them….and hopefully, if you can grow up and get over yourself, you’ll be involved in those plans! You need to do a lot of praying and go from there…. good luck!