Not sure if I should LEAVE MY HUSBAND
Posted by anon in Spouse on Oct 2nd, 2010 | 8 commentsDAMN… I never thought id ask myself this. How did I not see the fact that he is so irritable, defensive, and unable to handle stress or more than one thing at a time. He’s not a ‘bad’ guy.. Hes not an alcoholic, He doesnt beat me!
BUT try to get him to engage in a conversation.. Try to have a disagreement without a huge argument.. Try to talk and dream about the future, NOPE. not really gonna happen.
If I tell him about my day, I should give him the short 2 min summary because listening to me for more than 5 minutes is SUPER challenging for him…
REALLY? I dont ask for a lot.. but this SUCKS and well,, sometimes we are happy,, so is that good enough? Sometimes he makes dinner and cleans, so does that make everything ok?
Just because he doesnt beat me, has a job, and is able to do a few things around the house…. I should stay??
I DONT KNOW IF I WILL
8 Responses to “ “Not sure if I should LEAVE MY HUSBAND”
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To b honest with u men aren’t listeners. And us women have to understand that. I’ve been reading jenny McCarthys new book love lust and faking it, and she says a lot of the problems in the relationship are being projected by the person. Look within yourself and write down everything he does wrong in your eyes then change he to I. That should help u get another perspective on things. And ask yourself am I really happy? If not then its time to end it. Don’t drag it on for years. And don’t ever b scared to be alone. Her book is a must read
Relationships are so hard!
How long have you been together? What was it that you fell in love with in the first place, and are those traits still present? What do you want out of a relationship with another person? Do you have healthy communication in the areas that matter? Is he happy? Are you happy? What does he need to be happy? What do you need to be happy?
These are questions you can ask yourself. It sounds like you want some things resolved. Would he be willing to go to couples counseling?
Pardon me for saying this, but your hubby seems a bit immature and selfish. Don’t settle. Life is too short. I wish I had taken this advice myself years ago. I wish you the best of luck with your decision (although I suspect you already know what you need to do. You just need the courage to do it).
Yeah, what Saved said. This is how my ex was, I asked myself the same questions. He had no interest in anything outside of himself and when we had kids, same thing, he couldn’t engage with them either. I really wish I hadn’t waited 16 years to leave him, our pet didn’t even like him
OMG, listening to most of your stories sounds just like my situation. Sarasota, I empathize with you my husband is the same way with my son (doesn’t have the time of day for him) and as far as listening to me…well I may as well talk to the wall. Bel thanks for the advice about Jenny McCarthy’s book, I am going to go and buy it this weekend. I am still with my hubby currently. Hopefully one day I will have the courage to leave as I am not happy.
If you can do better than him, than do it. If you can’t, then don’t.
Sounds like he’d be better off without you. Hes probably as miserable as you anyway. How much time do YOU spend taking an interest in HIM? Works two ways in my experience.
hmmm. I’m curious – are you still with him? I only say this because I have the SAME guy. AND, after 25 years its the same thing. Mine drinks too much beer in an effort to calm his nerves. He sounds like a verbally abusive man (see Patricia Evans’ books). I can only tell you what it has done to me. We have stability, money but no love. I have had to disconnect completely in order to save myself. I no longer share anything with him because of the conditioning (or assaults if I offer up more than 2 sentences of information). He is very happy because he gets the whole evening to talk and talk whenever he feels up to it. I am frozen and can’t figure out how to leave without having regrets. Marriage is a habit that is hard to break. You seem like a positively sensitive person who needs to share life with someone. GET OUT NOW before it is too late. Read Richard Skerritt’s books over and over to figure out some things and you will never make the same mistake again.