Secret Confessions

I’ve been married for 6 months and my life is not what I wanted it to be. We’ve been together for 4yrs. We have great friends that may not know that we have issues. And I’m not sure she does either. I do admit Im not the king of comunication, but I feel if I tell her how I feel things would fall apart. It sounds crazy now that I vent my problems here but the sex was never exciting like I has been with other partners. I sometimes wonder if its me. But I’ve never had complaints in the past. There is definatly a trust issue with me being jelous as well as her. I think she cheated with a friend while I was in jail and she thinks I’ve cheated by reading a text on my phone. And I have but it wasnt from the girl in the text. It was with a girl I met at my job. She was 17 at the time we met and I was 28. We talked for awhile but did nothing. Then I started to fall for her as she did for me. I knew it was wrong but I wasnt happy with my marriage. She gave me something my life was lacking and I think it was sexual attention. She wanted me and she made sure I knew it. We had some of the best sex Ive ever had. She was 17 and I was her first. I felt horrible after she told me that. Things with me and her got a little to deep and she knew I wasnt going to leave my wife so she had to stop seeing me. We still talk and email but very little. I wish my life was different and I could be happy. If my wife would just want me like the girl I had an affair with wanted me my life would be much better. I feel like my wife is not attracted to me and if anyone has felt that before then you know how I feel.