Is this PPD?

I’m so tired. Last year my husband if 2 years forced me to leave him 6 months pregnant with our daughter (domestic violence situation). I have been with my parents for a year and am working on a divorce (further complicated because I never reported abuse to the police). I love my baby, and I know that she deserves better than what she would have had if we were together, but I miss my husband. I feel like I only left to protect her (which is why I still won’t go back), but I don’t deserve any better than what I had and if it wasn’t for keeping her safe I never would have left (even if it killed me). I really believe at this point that the only reason I am alive is because of something happened to me she would go to him. If that wasn’t the case, I would just kill myself.

5 thoughts on “Is this PPD?

  1. You definitely need to get some professional counseling and antidepressants may be prescribed for a time. I suggest you make an appointment to see your primary doctor or perhaps your ob/gyn. Explain how you have been feeling and ask for some help. You have a great deal going on – abuse, new baby, living with your parents. There is no shame in asking for some help. FYI antidepressants are not “happy pills” – they will just help you feel normal again so you can then address your problems without being overwhelmed with negative feelings such as sadness and anger. Get some help so you can move on with your life and enjoy that baby! Good luck. I truly hope you start to do better soon.

  2. Yeah altogether still away from men who will abuse you and do what is best for your child. I honesty think that you need to talk to a consular about your feelings for this Ex of yours and how he abused you and you need to talk about how to find a more healthier relationship with the consular and talk to your friends who are helpful if you have any helpful friends and if not so, find some helpful friends and some really wise friends. And I am wondering if you have a low-self-steem? And if so, just realize you deserve better then that man who abused you and you altogether deserve better then you think you do. For one just understand you matter to your child and you matter more then you think you do. Plus it’s best to sit down with the consular and ask him or her for wisedom. And talk to really wise people who understand how to get a healthy relationship or have really good healthy realtionships. And sometimes logic is healthier then following your heart. Because sometimes following your heart will get you hurt. And look for a saner man who does not abuse you or talk down on you and does not abuse you emotionally ever. Look for a sweet man who is more empathic and is good with animals and children and treats women with respect and compassion and look for a man who loves you unconditional and shows you affection and takes care of your needs like a good fatherly type of man who is more romantic and wants to marrie you and makes you happy and keeps you safe and will beat other men up if the try to hurt you. Get a loyal man who deeply loves you and wants you. And whatever you do stay away from Narcissist men and assholes and cowards and Sexist men. Find a true lover man and a winner/ keeper.

  3. What you have seem to follow the symptoms of depression, whatever the cause.

    I know it is difficult to believe yourself to be good or worthy when you have depression, but.

    You saved your daughter. You said it yourself. You saved her, and therefore you deserve better than that abusive fellow you left. You are strong and resilient. You continue to make the right decisions every day (leaving him, staying alive, staying away from him) despite however many years of abuse where he tried to force you to be a person who couldn’t make decisions. You persevered.

    I don’t know how much a stranger’s words mean to you, but you are strong. You overcame so much and you are still overcoming things. You will be able to make friends and reconnect with old ones (if you hadn’t contacted your old friends in a while, they will definitely want to catch up over coffee or tea, or just at the park with your daughter).

    You can become happy. You will be able to realise that you are worthy of life and happiness, even if only for a fleeting moment at a time. Know that those moments are the Truth. Keep them with you when you are down. Hold on to the fact that you knew that you are good, and you will know that you are good again.

    All the best.

  4. I’m so sorry for this. Just know that people out there do have similar problems, and many have faced this kind of situation and moved on. I believe you can too, just believe in yourself and do what it takes to be a strong, independent women. I pray that your child is healthy and happy.

  5. Emotions can be so irrational. Have you ever thought about getting therapy in order to work this through? You might also want to speak someone at the National Domestic Violence hotline who can help you to tease this out. 1-800-799-7233. Good luck.

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