I’m Sad
Posted by Husband makes me sad in Spouse on Feb 16th, 2011 | 4 commentsI’ve been married 33 years (got married young by today’s standard – just turned 21). After being married 9 years my husband struck up a relationship with a woman at his office. Although, he wouldn’t come home sometimes until after 2 a.m., he still claimed that he wasn’t being unfaithful. Claimed he was helping her with her apartment (ha!). We came very close to ending the marriage, but eventually reconciled. After many heartbreaking fertility treatments and 2 miscarriages, we adopted a beautiful baby girl. I noticed that he never wanted intimacy after that and when I confronted him, he said that as long as our daughter was in our house, we could not have any relations. Once he hit 50, he has become angry at everything and everyone. He is either very happy or sulking or angry at something. When he is happy, he is good to me, but the happy him doesn’t last. The least little thing will set him off. I have gained a lot of weight – partly due to a thyroid problem and partly due to emotional eating. I can’t even look at myself in a mirror anymore. Just the other day, we were watching a TV program and I commented about having a crush since I was a kid on this actor (who is an old man now)and he said – yeah like you would have any chance with him. I guess this was the straw that broke the camel’s back because I have not been able to stop crying for the past 2 days. My husband has become a very hard man to love, but is a good father and very responsible. I don’t have anyone that I can really talk to about this and I guess I just wanted to just let out everything I was feeling.
4 Responses to “ “I’m Sad”
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You have allowed this man to control you and your life for many years now. You have ended up broken and have taken up eating as a way to cope. I understand that some of it is due to your thyroid condition. Leave this marriage and start over. You sound very depressed, unhappy, and like you need to find yourself. Find happiness. If he wants to be miserable, he can do that alone. Just because he is a good father doesn’t mean he is a good husband. You owe it to yourself to be happy. You just need the strength/courage to get out of that situation. Many women have started over after being married for many years. Find a support group through Meetup.com for women who are going through transitions in their lives. It will help you. Don’t put up with his bull anymore. He is a miserable man that is taking out his frustration on you. Life is too short hon.
Get your self-esteem back!!! That’s the very first thing you need to do before you do anything. Be your own best friend and protect and be gentle with her. Just like that Pink song. Weight Watchers online is an awesome program that will help you with emotional eating, also look up spark people. Get the weight issue and the emotional eating issue under control and the rest will come naturally. Don’t let him sabotogue your self-worth. Just because he’s miserable being him doesn’t mean you have to be miserable being you. Become the person that you’ve always wanted to be. Do something that you’ve always wanted to learn how to do. Your daughter will thank you for it, she will have a happy healthy mommy again and that’s really important. Take her for a walk everyday to begin with, then go jogging, then go running. Start cooking healthy meals that make you feel good and healthy, this will benefit everybody. Be your own fortress and guard your inner self until he’s proven that he’s worth lowering the draw bridge for again. :) Whether he is or isn’t, you will be wonderful and beautiful and happy either way.
Here is a virtual hug :)
Its time to leave, you are heading towards half way mark in your life. and deserve to spend the other half happy. even if youre alone, it would be better than with him.
I know its scary to leave, but I think youd find yourself a brand new lady once you do. all the best