I’m only alive for my kids
Posted by I'm only alive for my kids in Spouse on Feb 7th, 2011 | 4 commentsI am married to a guy that turns me down for sex more often than we actually have it. Who ignores me more often than he actually talks to me. We took a weekend trip with our 3 kids and the whole time he has been on his iPad reading and watching movies. Everything is so empty. When he is at work all week I miss him so bad, but when I spend a few days with him I can’t take it because I notice all these things. o i guess this is my life until I die. I hate feeling rejected all the time. He acts annoyed if i mention doing anything with anyone else , even though he never actually says i can’t do things. I wonder if it’s his way of controlling me. So I have become used to being alone with the kids when he works 55 hours a week and. Now I just shut people out. He buys nice things for himself and won’t share, he really has no respect for me. He calls me names and expects me not to get mad and just laughs it off like its a joke. This is the life i have become used to …how did this become normal for me?
4 Responses to “ “I’m only alive for my kids”
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How did it become normal for you? You lived with it for a long, long time. Exposure to something for long enough doesn’t make it any less worse, but it does acclimate one to it.
My advice would be to see a marriage counselor. A third party to help you talk through your differences would make it easier to fix them, instead of turning the problem into a “you versus him” deal.
You’re in a co-dependent relationship, IMO. You’re not being treated as an equal. You need to empower yourself. There are a number of ways to do that. For one, start to educate yourself. Do some research online and see if I am correct or not. Next, find some support people (support group, online support, therapy, etc) When you begin finding your own strength, he will begin to get scared. He may retreat more or he may fight you on it.
It may get worse before it becomes better or it may not become better. Maybe you will leave. IMO, relationships like this are close to becoming abusive. And you don’t need it. Good luck
I really sympathize with you. I know its hard, but I once was told that people are in your life for either “3″ reasons.”a Season”, “a Reason” and ” a Life time”. You have to live your life. I know its easier said then done, but in the end result you only have one body that a higher being has given you and to let someone abuse that regardless of the personal relationship is unjustly. Just think about it, do you want your kids that you gave birth to and raise to receive any harm from anyone? the same goes for you, I know I caught my husband fooling around texting some girl and the moment i found out i had a pot in my hand ready to go at him, why? because I am a women and I demand respect. I know violence doesn’t get you anywhere but still I had to get a message across, which is? ” I am somebody ” whether your a mom, sister, ant or wife you demand respect.
This is how it is for most of us. It is even lonelier if you leave. Marraige counseling is a joke. Just go to counseling on your own and work on ways to find some peace within your family. You are no co-dependant. You are strong. This is what it is. Live for your children, it is OK to be dissappointed. It is part of maturing. Have a good cry, a hot bath and get some sleep. Then go look at your kids and smile. It will pass and in a year or two you will forget that you felt this way and be in different phase of life. Carry on.