I’m not sure I can keep doing this:
Posted by Anon in Spouse on Sep 27th, 2010 | 10 commentsYou are like having another child.
You are moody and expect to be rewarded for everything. Every other person in the world works a 40 hour a week job, and doesn’t act like it is the end of the world.
I am weary of protecting you, we both know you could have renewed your contract with your last job, but instead of doing that, you quit. You quit and let us struggle for over a year to make ends meet, put food on the table, and even pay the rent.
I am sick of you talking down to the kids, especially our daughter.
I am tired of watching your acting skills playing out in real life. You try to say whatever you think will make you look good publicly, and yet so much of it is lies:
You do not snuggle.
You are not patient with the kids.
You are angry.
You are not affectionate (unless people are around).
You are so very much your mother’s son with your passive aggressive and directly aggressive bs.
I *will* leave you if things do not get better.
10 Responses to “ “I’m not sure I can keep doing this:”
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Tell him if you haven’t already. Communicate. If things don’t change, then, yes, maybe it is time to consider ending the relationship.
We talk. He gets pissed off and defensive. I’ve shown him the bills, I’ve asked what he needs, I’ve asked for affection, I have spoken to him privately about the way he interacts with our daughter. He freely admits that his personality changes when he is around others.
He simply does not see that anything is wrong. He literally treats the animals with more affection than us, from the moment he comes in the door. The kids never do enough to help.
His favorite phrase is “get over it”.
This sounds in some ways like my irresponsible ex. He was a terrible, lazy provider too. Made horrible, irresponsible decisions that eventually made us broke. I hate him with a passion, I wish I had left him a long time ago, I waited too long. I hope you have a way of providing for you and your kids. I do manage to get (little) child support from him plus my small income but st least now, I know what to expect every day/month. It’s not always easy but it’s better than being with that stupid loser, good luck
He quit his last job, when he would have been making $30.00 an hour. He did not try to renegotiate his contract, even when his boss asked him to. His former boss asked him to do free lance work for them. Even when we had to go to the food bank? He refused.
I went away for a few weeks because my mother was dying. I planned menus, did the shopping, cleaned the house etc. Since he was unemployed, I figured he could handle it. NOT. SO.
My kids were left to their own devices most of the time. He fed them when he himself was hungry. He did not use the meals I prepared, he bought fast food with our fast dwindling savings. He did not pay the bills that I had already written checks for. I came home to swarms of gnats. SWARMS! There was not even fruit lying about to cause it. Just nastiness. I received constant phone calls from him saying he thought he was having a heart attack. He wasn’t. Inches of cat litter on the bathroom floor also awaited me. INCHES. I flew home, exhausted, knowing my mother was dying, and hurting from constant moving her body around, and had to put my family back together. There is even more, but I will spare you.
Then the bills, the assuming others will pick up our tab. Just, SIGH.
I understand, Anon. We have alot in common. I totally get it and sympathize. I was totally abandon by this guy when my parents were sick and dying.
It does sound as though your guy had some big time mental health issues (mine did too but refuses help) just a suggestion MAYBE he would be open to an evaluation and or help?
No, he is not open to therapy of any sort. The kids and I can go, but not him. The moment they ask him about his relationship with his mother, he is done. And yes, that says a LOT.
Right, my ex was the same way about certain subjects, one of them being his addiction. I’m sorry but this “man” will be a monkey on your back. I’m sure you’re beginning to figure that out now. My ex was extremely destructive to my life, other than my kids, I curse the day I met him and how he continued to take advantage of me for almost two decades and almost ruined our kids. Every day I pay the price for having been with him and he has been out since early this year. IMO, you should begin to plan and build a foundation for a life without him, it’s not easy because they’re irresponsible parents and don’t like to pay child support, And like me, try and figure out why you ended up with someone like this and be sure you don’t ever do it again. After someone like him, you and your kids will need stability
OMG Girl!!! You married my ex!
yo need to leave him, he has to see your serious and if he doesn’t change your better off alone and finding someone else. it take a long time for a person to change. right now i think he has to find himself and you need to move on and do what right for your kids
Leave him before the kids realise what a douche their dad is. That is the most hurtful feeling ever. i hated it when i found out how harsh my father is. i am only 17.
take my advice