If you had just made me your priority

rather than always putting me second to your family; If you never raised your hand to me or called me those names in moments of anger I would never had cheated on you. And I have cheated on you. And I don’t feel guilty. Even though you may never find out about it, I hope in some small way it makes you fell less secure with me as I’ve been made to feel less secure with you. I like it that you know other men out there find me attractive if it makes you feel a bit scared that one day I just might act on it. I wish I could tell you that I’m only with you because of the kids. If we didn’t have them, I would have walked long ago. How sad that you’ve become a better husband when I just don’t give a shit anymore. I used to love you so much that I put up with your behavior. Now I love someone else. He is poor and and my lifestyle would go down more than one degree, but I would be happier being with him and being poor than with being with you and being comfortable. But I will stay with you because my kids didn’t ask to be born and they are wonderful and smart and talented and I would rather die than make them unhappy or **** up their life.

7 thoughts on “If you had just made me your priority

  1. Maybe I shouldn’t speak here, but I felt like I may as well, being that I am one of three children of a divorced household. My parents’ divorce was a gruesome, over-5-year-long experience that occurred only after years of my mother staying with my father for the sake of my brothers and I. During the years my parents stayed together, there was some physical violence, but never anything too over the top and certainly nothing life threatening, but the mental effects were the worst. I hated (and still hate) the constant attempts to best the other parent in some way and win my brothers and I over, and the fighting between them. Now I’m 16 and my parents still take each other to court over petty things, the divorce left my father bankrupt and as of this month his house is being foreclosed, while my mother never really got over hating him. I guess what I’m getting at is that, at least from my experience, it won’t help to stay with your current husband if you don’t love him, and will **** up your kids lives more than if you left him. My best advice would be to try and be peaceable about the divorce, if that is what you end up doing. You say he has become a better husband, and if that’s true than he may make a better father as well, someone who you don’t need to shut out of your children’s lives at the very least. I don’t know how old your children are, but I’m also not sure if it matters, whatever psychologists might say, I think the best option is to end your marriage and be with someone you love so that you can love your children the same way. Again, I’m only a 16 year old kid, but no child deserves to be raised in a hateful environment, and I hope none of your children end up like me, best of wishes to you and them.

  2. your right. i am in the same thing. all we need in life is love. you should tell him. if you love some one else u shouldn’t be able to hide it

  3. Listen i understand your doing it for the kids but tell him that. Tell your husband that you feel like that. Tell him that the only reason your with him is because of the kids. I know there will be alot of casualties and arguments after that but i swear it would be worth it. Its going to happen anyway….

  4. I’ve always said a man is the difference between a young girl and a bitter woman. Have you seen “The Dutchess” with Keria Knightly? You should. I don’t agree with your marriage but your story is very interesting. Thanks for the post!

  5. I’m in the same spot. He has become a better husband, while I just don’t give a flying fuckk anymore.
    I work with a man half my husbands age, with half the money who makes me feel alive again. I won’t cheat, but it sure is fun to play. I wish I could cheat though

  6. Hi there. Reading your blog made me so sad for you. The way these men that abuse women operate is by gradually wearing down your self worth so you feel worthless and stay. They will use manipulation, brainwashing and tactics to make you feel guilty to keep you from leaving. You mentioned that you don’t want to hurt your children by leaving but in all reality when you stay in an abusive situation you hurt them 10 times more by staying. If you are not healthy then it is difficult to take care of anybody else. And your children will grow up to believe that the environment they were raised in is a normal one and either pick someone just like your husband or become abusers themselves. GET OUT NOW!!!! Please forgive me if I sound harsh or judgemental. I am not judging you but am simply trying to help you see that you are a victim and have been slowly brainwashed to believe that staying is your only option. This is simply not true. Trust me. I know from experience.

  7. Nobody can make you do anything. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you are staying for your kids. If you want to leave, leave. Why don’t you show your kids that you should not stay in an unhappy marriage. By having an affair you are teaching them to lie and that you are a liar and a cheater. My husband did not have the guts to faceup to how he felt in our relationship. Instead he chose to cheat whilst I was pregnant. He could have left with his head held high yet now he can add the shame of cheating etc as well. There was no need for the lying and betrayal. Now everyone is hurting. Go with the one you love! You can be happy and still be a brilliant mum.

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