rather than always putting me second to your family; If you never raised your hand to me or called me those names in moments of anger I would never had cheated on you. And I have cheated on you. And I don’t feel guilty. Even though you may never find out about it, I hope in some small way it makes you fell less secure with me as I’ve been made to feel less secure with you. I like it that you know other men out there find me attractive if it makes you feel a bit scared that one day I just might act on it. I wish I could tell you that I’m only with you because of the kids. If we didn’t have them, I would have walked long ago. How sad that you’ve become a better husband when I just don’t give a shit anymore. I used to love you so much that I put up with your behavior. Now I love someone else. He is poor and and my lifestyle would go down more than one degree, but I would be happier being with him and being poor than with being with you and being comfortable. But I will stay with you because my kids didn’t ask to be born and they are wonderful and smart and talented and I would rather die than make them unhappy or **** up their life.