I hate my spouses failure at their career

My spouse cannot make a living and has never made a living– she calls herself an “artist”–always wants wants wants expensive things- cars, travel, cameras, but never has dime one. I bought a nice car for her , expensive things, have for years, but when I need something, she is never any help. I hate what a financial failure she is. She thinks that being emotionally supportive is enough–I recently lost a house to foreclosure and of course, all she could do was feel badly for me–but help me financially??? of course Never!! I have so much bottled up rage at her, such resentment at what a financial burden she has always been. and what a fucking ingrate she is. I have left a few times, but was lonely and came back–her situation never changes and then I hate myself for coming back–I guess I feel that being with her is better than being alone-my career is very isolating (im a writer) so I do not know many people and have no opportunities to meet people–Im just so angry.