I hate my husband
Posted by Anonymous in Spouse on Apr 22nd, 2011 | 11 commentsFor the past 5 years I cared for my ailing mother. After discussing care options with my husband, he suggested we move her into our home. My husband and I had only been married for 3 years when this life changing event took place. This turned our lives upside down and we did not receive the support from my siblings that had been promised. However, I managed to be a good wife, take care of my mother, and maintain my career and our household. I was juggling so many things I lost track and realized this was affecting my relationship with my husband. A year after after moving my mother in with us, we enrolled in couple’s therapy to improve our communications and I thought we were a strong couple.
My mother passed peacefully in her sleep last year and while I mourn her passing I welcomed the privacy and freedom to “love on my husband.” However, in January my husband told me that he has been engaging in emotional and sexual affairs for several years. The only reason he told me was because one of his “friends” threatened to call me when she found out he was married. I am devastated. At my request, my husband has moved out of the house and I have filed for legal separation. He has begged for forgiveness again and again but I feel I can never trust again. I hate him for his infidelity and his weakness. I am now in counseling to help me sort out my thoughts and anger issues.
11 Responses to “ “I hate my husband”
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you should takem back…most men wouldnt even apologize…everyone makes mistakes give him another chance….please you honestly should
Someone like that would do it whatever the home situation was. Youre better off without that selfish jerk. I bet he’s begging forgiveness because probably non of his “friends” really wanted him just the attention he gave them.
He’s a tool. And it’s only one person that has let you down there are six billion people out there we can’t all be bad. But I understand where you’re coming from.
In other cultures, such as southern Europe, your husband’s behavior would not be so remarkable. The wife expects the husband may stray once in a while, but he always comes home. Don’t forget that when your mother became ill your husband suggested she move into your home. That shows he is a caring person. Many men would not have done that.
If you truly loved him you won’t turn your back on him now. Real love is bigger than that. You may make a mistake that will hurt you both and you will regret it. How much of your reaction is just hurt pride?
Take him back with open arms and tell him you love him and all is forgiven. Don’t remind him over and over that he strayed. He will love you all the more and you both will find a deeper happiness.
Thank you for your encouraging words. I have forgiven my husband but I will not condone his blatant dishonesty. He has admitted he the reason for moving my mother into our household. He felt she would be a suitable distraction so he could continue to engage other women while keeping our home intact. In other words, he wanted to have his cake and eat it too. My husband is not a bad person but he has shown continued poor judgment which has put our union and home at risk. I do not wish him or his “friends” any ill however, I do not enjoy hang-up calls or emails from women professing their love for him. If the shoe were on the other foot, I do not believe he would be so understanding. Frankly, women are being murdered every day because their husband or significant other suspects them of cheating. I choose not to stay in an unhealthy relationship or environment.
You are doing the right thing. Remember, the best prediction of future behavior is past behavior. Kick him to the curb. I went the other routh and have regreated it. I think I’ll just kick mine to the curb to.
Forgive does not mean take back. He cheated and he has to accept punishment. He does NOT love you. It doesn’t make sense to be in a marriage with someone that does not love you.
1) A person you love you would not risk giving AIDS to you and thus murdering you
2) You mean all those times he was screwing around, he NEVER thought of you ONCE and that what he was doing would hurt you tremendously?
If that is what these commenters think is love, they are better off being hated.
You’re better off without his BS. You’ve been taking care of everyone and everything else. Now, it’s your turn, take care of YOU!
Chicagoen – are you serious with that advice? Her husband turned his back on her. He thought about himself. Apparently in your world men are allowed to do anything they want. He obviously wasn’t cool with the mother moving in, because he went out and started another relationship. Men can be very passive and keep quiet when they don’t like something. Welcome him with open arms and not bring up that he was callous douche bag??? You know what Chicagoen? I suggest you marry this guy. Your the perfect spouse. Your significant other will be free to piss all over you, and you’ll just take it. Just show him REAL love. If I was an abusive person, I would be emailing you my phone number right now. Your the poster child of what these people are looking for.
To the lady who posted this column – This guy doesn’t love you. During a difficult time in your life, this dude chose to sleep with someone else instead of taking your back. Chicagoen suggests you get on your knees and take it up the ass. Your husband has shown where you stand with him. Its not any wheres near first place out of five. There are men out there that will give you a hundred percent. No, don’t stay with this loser. Life is to short to stay will some one who has more than told you in many ways that his needs come first. If he failed you in this round of life, he going to fail you in the next events to come.
Seems like your solution is in the title of your post. If you hate your husband, then there is no reason for you to be with him.
I hate My Husband too. Ever since I became pregnant he was not the same towards me anymore. He quit having sex with me when i was barely 6 weeks pregnant. Now that I had my baby and I am slim again, he complains that I have stretch marks on my stomach. He jerks off to porn and constantly shows me his disatisfaction towards my boday, although Im only 94 lbs. I hate hit. He is a Douche Bag.