I changed my mind about kids
Posted by Nayarit in Spouse on Nov 15th, 2010 | 3 commentsBefore getting married both husband and I decided we wanted kids. A few months after our wedding, I told my husband that I was ready to start a family, but he asked me to wait a few more years, as he was going to school and had yet to start a career. I was very disappointed, and 4 months later I told him that I couldn’t wait, that I wanted to have a baby now. He asked me to wait 3-4 more years! I had no choice as I didn’t want to “force” him…2 years later, I thought about it deeply and seriously, and decided that I didn’t want kids after all!
So I told him that I was NEVER going to have kids, that I had changed my mind, and he was totally shocked! He didn’t expect this from me. He says that I have misled him and he wouldn’t have married me if I had told him that I never wanted children.
He is now freaking out because I’m getting close to 40 and he sees that I have NOT changed my mind. Quite the contrary: every day I am happier and happier about my decision.
3 Responses to “ “I changed my mind about kids”
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If you don’t want kids, don’t have them. Your husband is the one who kept putting off the kids, not you. He should not say you deceived him because you did not, you were all for kids at first but people grow and change.
You respected not forcing him into fatherhood and cast your feelings aside when you were ready to have a baby and now he has the nerve to freak out. Sorry, but you have the right to change your mind. Maybe you resented him when he told you, “No” when you expressed you couldn’t wait to have a child and it could be factoring into why you now don’t want one. It’s almost like a feeling of rejection. Regardless, throughout this time, you had a chance to grow as a person and you know what you want and that doesn’t include children. If he can’t live without children then sadly, parting ways is what could happen.
DO NOT HAVE KIDS! they change your life in very ‘unexpected’ ways–even when the kids are wanted and planned. you do not need children to be fulfilled. you are at an age where you should be happy and free to move about the world. kids will never allow you to do that. be selfish and live your life as you want it instead of dedicating the rest of your life to caring for verrrry needy (and whiny!) kiddos. be happy.