I can’t leave my dying husband

My husband has ALS and can’t do anything for himself. Before he was diagnosed, I planned to leave him, but now I can’t. What’s worse, he always treated me like a servant and now I actually have to serve him. I could walk away, but I have a strong sense of duty and I love him as the father of our children. But that’s all. He’s often emotionally abusive to me and my grown children. I’m pretty sure he would be diagnosed as a narcissist. I don’t want to see anything bad happen to him, and I grieve seeing him in this condition. But he was diagnosed three years ago, and he’s still here. His condition steadily worsens, but only by little bits and pieces. I have no life. I can’t leave him. I’m the sole bread winner–my job is demanding and I have to drive 3 hours a day (because he wants to live near his family) to get there. I support my son who has PTSD and our grandson, too. I’m tired. I’ve thought about ending it all, but too many people depend upon me. I’m depressed. My body is worn down from lifting and moving him. I don’t sleep because he wakes me several times in the night to move his arms or his legs or whatever. I need help but I don’t know where to turn. I’m so tired.

3 thoughts on “I can’t leave my dying husband

  1. You are a good loving person. My father was sick for a long time. I know what you mean. But there are life decisions to make. I have thought about me being sick and taken care of causing suffer to the ones I love. I love them and do not want them to suffer. I would first die than be in that situation. So if my love ones abandon me, I will be in peace. The people who love you will always understand.

  2. my mother went through this when my father got sick with cancer. she was seriously thinking about leaving him, but never told him and took care of him while he died. i don’t, however, recommend that you give up your life for a man who abuses you and your children. see a counselor to talk through these feelings and take care of yourself because no one else will.

    <3

  3. hey! my advice? ask yourself what is more important, your own happiness or those around you? then ask yourself this: is the way that those around me make me feel worth their happiness? i suggest you seriously reflect on these questions, i also think you should be open with your husband about how you feel. i understand that it must be hard for you and how tired you msut be, you never chose this afterall. but dont let others controll your life. take controll! i say KICK YOUR HUSBAND OUT AND LET HIS ASS ROT ON THE STREETS

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