i am in love with my husbands brother….

my husband and i had our 1st daughter when we were young…. we did the responsible thing… we got married..bought a home..started a family and a life…

i have given up everything.. college..career… friends.. everything because my daughter means more to me than anything ever….

you however,didnt give anything up.. you got worse.. you kept partying…you stayed out all night.. you never came home… you didnt know anything about she or i….

at this point we have been married for 8 yrs…. we have now a second daughter… who also means more to me than anything else.. for our daughters sake i have stayed this long….

your brother and i are in love..real love…

~he kisses me on the forehead always, bc he wants to
*i ask you to,, you ask why and get annoyed

~he wants me all the time. and makes me feel AMAZING about ME!!
*you .. i have to remind you to kiss me ..even after not seeing you in 3 months .(he travels alot for “work”). and we never have sex because i can completely throw myself at you..and you find a reason we cant have sex..yet you blame it on me later.

~he calls me all day long because he misses me and WANTS to talk to me
*i have to remind you to call me ..you have to write it on your hand to remember to call me..and when we do talk it is for 5 minutes then you always have to go for some reason or another

~he brings me flowers and buys me sweet little nothings all the time for no other reason, but he loves me and was thinking of me…
*i havent gotten a gift from you for my birthday ,valentines day, christmas.. nothing.. let alone no reason.. in 8 years…

~he pays attention to the girls, and loves them.
*you are too busy to pay attention to them.(and that hurts me worse than knowing you dont love me anymore)

i could go on and on… but, to make a long story short….
your brother has loved me for 5 years.. and i am scared to lose him… but, i cant bring myself to leave you..because even though the feelings are clearly, not reciprocated, i still love you..
but, i am also in love with your brother..

15 thoughts on “i am in love with my husbands brother….

  1. All right, no one else is going to bring it up, so I’ll play the “shoe on the other foot” card.

    — If this was a husband in love with his wife’s sister, would everyone tell him to leave?

    — If the husband in this case isn’t around much because he has another woman he’s in love with, do we say “good for him!” ?

    Is there a gender double standard here?

    1. I left a husband after 20 years who treated me the way you are describing. It was the best decision of my life and our children agreed. I am now living with the love of my life for 17 years and he he treats me like everyday is the first day that he fell for me. Life is short. Don’t waste anymore time on this loser. He had his chance.


    1. **** you. Why is it always about threesomes? Is that ALL ppl care about? People are like fuckin bugs. ONLY instinct they listen to is to mate. ******* disgusting.

  3. Stop tricking yourself. You really want your husband to just love you…appreciate you…breathe you. This “In love with brother” is an excuse to write this confession. You just need to confess that you need courage to speak up–create some movement and type of something to hhelp express your neglect but not a brother thing.

    LEAVE for you…seperate from negativity so you can see straight! Because if you love brother all that much, you can easily love ex-hubby if you decide to choose your brother…then what??? Especially if ex-hubby comes around and tries to sweep you off your feet??? Will you take him back…oh wait, but you might be prego with brother’s kid. All I’m saying is just date if you leave hubby, before commiting on this fantasy brother. Plus a brother that can betray blood can betray his wife. It seems to me that he’s taking advantage!

  4. Kav, what is wrong with you? Did you not read all that was just said. Her husband pays her no mind and could care less about her and the kids where as the brother-in-law does all of that and has been for 5 years.

    Anonymous, I say its time to end the marriage. Life is too short to be holding on to something that is no longer there. It takes two people to make a marriage successful. I wouldnt be surprised if your husband is cheating on you. Especially if he travels a lot as you say. especially if he doesnt even want sex when he is home. No man refuses sex from a women unless they being distracted by another. Remember that!
    AS for the kids, dont stay just for the sake of them. I dont believe in staying committed in marriage just for the sake of the kids. Kids will move on and be ok and if he doesnt have much of realationship with them now then being divorced really isnt going to affect them any more then what they all ready see and feel. Move on!

      1. If you look at what Kav wrote, he said that she has “something that is brilliant” (what she has with the brother) and “something that is rubbish” (what she has with her husband)

        Kav never mentioned a brilliant situation. :P

        I don’t think you understood what Kev wrote.

    1. hun, i can completely understand where you are at… beacause this is hard for me to say, especially with anyone that can read this, but i too am having an affair with my brother in law, and he loves and adores me, and treats me and the kids like we are supposed to be treated, and my husband does not.. i have been in an affair with him for almost 4 years.. i am still with my husband but plan on leaving very very soon, it eats me alive that i picked the wrong brother to marry.. me and my brother in law liked each other before me and my husband got together but neither one of us told the other until about 4 years ago, and we went from there.. we are madly in love with each other, and we cant wait to be with each other.. my husband and i were having problems way before me and my brother in law told each other how we felt about each other and what we meant to each other.. me and my brother in law are in love, and feel like we are soulmates, that we are meant to be together.. when i reading your post, it sounded exactly like my story.. im so thankful that im not the only one.. the only difference between you and i is i no longer love my husband, he is a monster to me and the kids, and the man im meant to be with is my brother in law.. i have never been so happy, never felt so loved and appreciated in my entire life.. i really cant wait til me and my brother in law are together and happy like we were meant to be.. i can tell you to forget about your husband and go with your brother in law, hes the man for you and you and him, and the kids should be together as a family.. i wish you the best of luck hun, and i know exactly how you feel… thank you for making me feel better also, knowing that im not the only one that is going thru this… i wish you the best of luck, and go for the brother in law.. that’s what im doing and i know its the right choice!! you and the kids deserve to be happy and be treated like the way your brother in law treats you!! good luck hun!!!

      1. I am going through the same thing.. i got married at the age of 19 and have a 2 year old.. i am in love with my bil.. how do i tell this to my husband? :(

  5. the obvious answer go after what you want. Leave him, and go for the brother. Get married be happy. But then again I understand you , for I have been with the a guy I do not love for a year and do not find it in my heart to be fair to him and tell him the truth. Your problem is that you actually love the right guy so I do not know what is wrong with you.

  6. Pfft. Leave him.

    Women like you annoy me. You have something that brilliant, and something that is rubbish. So you cling to the rubbish and refuse to allow the good man to move on with a woman that will love only him.

    What is wrong with you?

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