Head or heart?

The inheritance my husband is about to receive is probably the only chance I’ll have for financial stability in my lifetime. We could pay off our debts and buy a house – something I never thought would be possible. I’m disabled, unemployed, and have only meagre government benefits to my name. This money would change my life.

But I’m so unhappy with him, and want a divorce. Seeing as I’m overweight, unattractive, and have severe mental health issues, I doubt anyone else would ever want me, so there’s a part of me that thinks I should be pragmatic, accept I’ll never be truly happy, make the best of it, and at least have security and companionship. And that makes me a horrible person.

3 thoughts on “Head or heart?

  1. Sorry for my bad spelling, I’m not american/english.

    I wanted to add, that be careful with pills and ”medicines” for your issues. I have OCD, what means I got the higest dose of antidepressives. It got a little better, but the side effects… I was getting depressed. On antidepresives!!! it made me numb and stressed out, becouse I was not happy anymore. I felt sick all the time…
    Consider that if you are taking too many, maybe that is also what is keeping you down…

  2. Depends what disabled is in your case.
    There are alot of things you CAN do FOR YOURSELF!
    OVERWEIGHTt? Eat healthy, start exercising, find help, anything. it’s not impossible you know.
    UNATTRACTIVE? that is wht you said. Plus, you are going to start eating healthy, find Reach4Raw on youtube, for inspiration and motivation. If she could do it, you certanly can. The only thing that is stopping you for real are your excuses.
    SEVERE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES. again, I know too little. If there are traumas, unresolved things and that kind of stuff that I know can be really mental, but there is always a way to growth and liberation, resolving stuff. Maybe therapist, but probably best, some books and a very good friend, intelligent one, ready to listen. I recomant: Eckart Tolle: NOW! Otherwise, I hope you have found the right treatment for yourself.
    also remember, if staying with him makes you unhappy, that makes your issues alot alot worse!!!!!!!!! and it will not get better. believe me. You will just get more numb.
    MONEY, STABILITY: if you believe, you could not survive on your own, try finding some comunity organisation… Like.. maybe sustainable organic farms, which could take you in in return on some work, but you would need little money for that, free food, company, healing energy of land…

    Also, don’t believe in materialism!!!!
    Better alone, broke and HAPPY, than in unhappy relationship, UNHAPY in HIS house.

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