Doing the right thing is so hard!

I know it’s wrong! It’s not meant to be, people have to make choices and my choice was to get married. Granted no one should make that choice at 22 but there you go, what’s done is done. Nearly 10 years down the line plus 2 kids can’t turn back the clock now.

We are a bit like strangers, living in the same house, well that is when you are home. Even when you are home you are up stairs sleeping and watching porn. You demand sex when it suits you, now romance and wants things I don’t like to do. You call me boring and dull. I can’t remember when last you said you loved me. You share your bed with her every other night and says it means nothing….. that you are just sleeping. And though I might believe you on that count, it still hurts my feelings. You never want to talk to me or go for walks or spend any time with me. In fact if you could never spend time with me you would be happy.

You come home and demand to be fed, when it’s not to your exact specifications you lose it. I’m here to watch your kids, even if you consider me to be a bad mom and pick up after you.

Do you blame me for falling for him? He talks to me and laughs at my jokes and thinks I’m funny and kind. He looks at me with eyes that say a thousand words. He makes my skin tingle and give me butterflies.

Yet for the sake of the boys I decided to stay with you, I’m not going to ruin their lives by being the bad mother who left their wonderful dad for some other guy.

Now I never see him and we hardly talk, I miss him so much. He told me to save my marriage, that we are not meant to be but when I see him my heart aches.

Do you know what I’ve given up? Do I know what I’ve given up? Was he my chance to be loved and appreciated?

If only you would be kinder and more loving I might feel this is all worth while, even if only for the boys. I hope that I don’t regret this all one day when I end up all alone with no one to love and no one to love me….

I’m so in love with this other man it’s breaking my heart!
I have decided to do the right thing but it’s hard cause you don’t treat me the way I deserve, the way he’s shown me I can be treated…. and that without even having sex with him.

10 thoughts on “Doing the right thing is so hard!

  1. Time to move on. My parents got divorced but it turned out being better for everyone. No more dysfunction or crazy drama. Peace feels great you know. Do keep in touch with that man who you love. Saving your marriage is not your job. Your husband has lost interest in you in a big way and he won’t change. This happens in some (most) marriages and you two aren’t even friends. The kids will be okay. Trust me. I was. Good luck. This is no way to live!!

  2. He’s sleeping with her, but not having sex? What the heck, you need a fairy tale to fall asleep at night or something? Wake up! He’s cheating on you! Show your children that you have enough self-respect to leave him and find a man who will treat you right. Then they will have self-respect also.

  3. The problem is your husband. He feels trapped because of the children. You need to have someone counsel him for his depression. You are a good woman with needs. Give him things to do that make him feel like the man he wants to be. Help him and be the partner he needs.
    Try being a sexual dynamo. Act like you cannot get enough. Do not allow him to sleep
    touch him and entice him.

  4. i just wanted to let you know.. i am in the same situation..i feel your heart.. this is truly a gut wrenching ,head spinning time…

    im still deciding what to do..

    just wanted to let you know im here and i understand… and you inspired me to write my own confession..

    ill bet you can figure out which one is mine.. they are very similar,

    best of luck to you and your sweet kids!

  5. Children are more resillient than you think. If leaving this man makes you happy then leave.

    You might find a man who not only treats you right but might befriend them to the point they call HIM dad and share in the raising of your boys.

    I know it worked that way for me and my [step] daughter adores me and (her words) wouldn’t trade me for anyone else in the world. She is 32 now and for the last 30 years she has been my “baby”

  6. Doing the right thing – for whom? Staying in a loveless marriage “for the kids” is a terrible idea. Giving up on a chance for happiness is a terrible idea. We get one shot at life – don’t waste it being unappreciated and miserable.

  7. Oh my god! Get rid of the waster / cyber freak / transvestite / deadbeat! Surely u consider urself to be worth morethan being with that hound, he sounds lower than a snakes belly. Do urself and ur kids a huge favor and drop him in the gutter with all the rest of the trash where he belongs!

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