My story is long. My wife and I met when I was engaged to another woman. I deceived both of them so that they knew nothing of each other for a while. As you can imagine my wife had some trust issues with me at the beginning of our relationship, but I know I’ve shown her how faithful I’ve been. She set the boundaries for us by stating that being unfaithful was the worst thing I could do to her.
A year or so ago I found some old emails where she was chatting to some guy, obviously flirting but didn’t go too far. I took it badly but forgave her as we were going through a rough patch and as he lived in another country I was not threatened.
Over the summer we had a really hard time but we managed to scrape through the hardest challenges to our relationship thus far. Things got a little better after that but just recently she has been telling me that she is unhappy and didn’t know what she wanted in her life, but couldn’t say exactly what the problem was. I lost my job and it hit pretty hard and she tells me that she panicked when I sat around for a week or so feeling sorry for myself. I turned it all around though have a new job now and things are going better. Then the crying started over the last week, with her stating that she was unhappy.
This morning I found more emails from a co-worker of hers. They have been training in the gym together, been shopping together, met for coffee and such. I got mad and confronted her and she confessed to everything, said she was unhappy as she knew she was hurting me and was trying to end it. She was so relieved that I had found out and it had come to an abrupt end. I do believe her when she says that nothing sexual happened but the type of things they did together and the way they chatted really hurt me and I’m struggling to come to terms with it.
In a way I’m glad I found out now as I’m not sure where it would have led but I’m really having trouble figuring out how I’m going to trust her again.
She says she likes the person but the feelings she has for me are far greater and she only turned to him for someone to talk to when we went through a rough patch, then it went a bit too far and she got scared, she called him and ended it immediately after being confronted. She admits that she has been happier with our relationship over the last few weeks but has been riddled with guilt about this other guy and was planning to end it today when they would meet.
I’ve seen so many emotions today, anger, sadness, despair the works but just need some unbiased perspective on what to do now.
Any help appreciated.