Caught my wife for the second time

My story is long. My wife and I met when I was engaged to another woman. I deceived both of them so that they knew nothing of each other for a while. As you can imagine my wife had some trust issues with me at the beginning of our relationship, but I know I’ve shown her how faithful I’ve been. She set the boundaries for us by stating that being unfaithful was the worst thing I could do to her.

A year or so ago I found some old emails where she was chatting to some guy, obviously flirting but didn’t go too far. I took it badly but forgave her as we were going through a rough patch and as he lived in another country I was not threatened.

Over the summer we had a really hard time but we managed to scrape through the hardest challenges to our relationship thus far. Things got a little better after that but just recently she has been telling me that she is unhappy and didn’t know what she wanted in her life, but couldn’t say exactly what the problem was. I lost my job and it hit pretty hard and she tells me that she panicked when I sat around for a week or so feeling sorry for myself. I turned it all around though have a new job now and things are going better. Then the crying started over the last week, with her stating that she was unhappy.

This morning I found more emails from a co-worker of hers. They have been training in the gym together, been shopping together, met for coffee and such. I got mad and confronted her and she confessed to everything, said she was unhappy as she knew she was hurting me and was trying to end it. She was so relieved that I had found out and it had come to an abrupt end. I do believe her when she says that nothing sexual happened but the type of things they did together and the way they chatted really hurt me and I’m struggling to come to terms with it.

In a way I’m glad I found out now as I’m not sure where it would have led but I’m really having trouble figuring out how I’m going to trust her again.

She says she likes the person but the feelings she has for me are far greater and she only turned to him for someone to talk to when we went through a rough patch, then it went a bit too far and she got scared, she called him and ended it immediately after being confronted. She admits that she has been happier with our relationship over the last few weeks but has been riddled with guilt about this other guy and was planning to end it today when they would meet.

I’ve seen so many emotions today, anger, sadness, despair the works but just need some unbiased perspective on what to do now.

Any help appreciated.

Thanks

8 thoughts on “Caught my wife for the second time

  1. I had heard what u find about affair is just the ‘tip of the iceberg’. If it was just the emails, why she would be so secretive about it?I was in similar situation as urs. My wife told that she did not have any feelings for that person and she did not sleep with him. But after 1 year, she finally accepted she was sleeping with him. Its really hard to make them confess about sex because they know men will leave after knowing about it. They cheat but want to stay.

  2. You have depression and she has boredom. You must have some accomplishments and keep your mind on the wife.
    Women cheat because they are missing something in their intimate life. She wants and needs your touch and desire for her. Restart your intimacy. Make love slowly. Cook for her. Go out do the things she likes to do.
    Take marriage vows and mean it! Born-again-marriage!!

  3. This is about you being numb and confused. The issue isn’t what you did getting into this relationship. It’s about you not acting in your own best interest. You have been dumped by betrayal. If you can accept that then you can grieve and move forward. or, avoid it, relive it and spend your life continuing the betrayal of yourself. Man up buddy! Move on.

  4. women only leave men when they’re dissatisfied with the person she’s with.

    Look back at yourself, find out why she’s unhappy and really try to fill in the emptiness for her.

  5. Well buddy I hate to be the one to tell you this but she has been cheating on you.

    Women by thier tendencies when they turn to another man they have already decided to sharpen his pencil (if you know what I mean)

    The solution for you now is to accept it and become a cuckold or leave her scank cheating ass.

    Personally I think you like the idea of her cuckolding you

    1. I am a firm believer that what goes around comes back around. You were a cheater and dis honest, so now you are repping the harvest of the seeds that you have sown.

      The reality is that once a cheater always a cheater. If you are cool with having your wife creeping around with other men, then just shut up and enjoy whatever she dishes out to you. If you do not like a cheater like yourself, then get a divorce and start over new with someone else.

      You started the dishonesty and it is here to stay!!!!!

      Leave or Deal With It!!!

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