messed-up
Posted by Anonymous99763 in Sex on Aug 1st, 2010 | 12 commentsI masturbate a lot. I’ve had sex with my cousin two years ago and i yearn to do it again. All my cousin’s are boys bar one. Two of them and the girl I’ve had sexual encounters with for as long as I can remember. I’m bi. I like my best friend. I’ve stolen money. I watch porn. I was sexually abused by my step-father. Incest, rape and child porn turn me on. I’m a mess and I’m only 17. I’m a girl. I continually try to make my mum not be disappointed in me. I always seem to do so. I’m so scared of my grades failing. She’s not a bad mum. She’s always been there for me. She loves me I know. But I just get so scared that she’ll be disappointed in me.I’m asian. I’m catholic. I believe in God. For the sins that I’ve done, will I ever be forgiven?
12 Responses to “ “messed-up”
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We’ve all made mistakes. And I’ve got a few things in common with you. Don’t worry :) there’s more people out ther who are like you, or worse. Of course god would forgive you. As long as you’re really sorry, he would.
Hi, I used to feel like you until I started doing some research into my behavior and I learned that it all stemmed from my sexual abuse (the promiscuity, rape fantasies, the various “acting out” behaviors- stealing)
You lived through something horrible, the trauma of rape/incest takes away your power and self esteem. Ask your mother to take you to a counselor. You need some help for what you’ve been through. Please don’t blame yourself. Your “step-father” is a pedophile. I hope he’s out of your life
Hugs.
Of course dear, you will be forgiven, you’ll always be.. there will always be a chance for a change, I understand why you’re like that because you experience sexual abuse. Go on with Life. God is there for you.
Seeking help (counseling) for your past traumas sounds like it might be important.
I got cut off… continued….
You did not do anything to deserve the abuse. Forgive yourself for the things you feel guilt over, rather than worry about whether or not you will be forgiven. You are a beautiful human being.
I hope your stepfather is out of your life, too.
I hope you can get some help working through the traumatic past you have experienced. Often times, in trauma, we re-live our experiences (manifesting in other ways) until they are resolved.
Stop all the bad acts…
Believe that there is only 1 true GOD, HE has no partners.. that will make you at ease…
GOD has no partners? … Oh! So what you’re saying is GOD masturbates too so don’t worry about it.
Jesus! is the answer. Ask Hime to forgive you. He will garanteed.
You are 17. It is time to start over in life. First, as a child who was molested it is common to act out sexually. You didn’t choose to be molested nor did you choose to suffer the result. What you can choose is to go to someone you can trust, preferably a professional at school or community health clinic and tell them you want help. It could be the best thing you will ever do. There is nothing in your life, no deed done, nor anything else, that should keep you from living a life free from the effects of the abuse. I pray you will seek the help you need and that you will find it.
I am exactly the same except I’m 16.My uncle is the one who sexually abused me and mostly anything sexual turns me on,with a couple exceptions.I also watch porn alot and I masturbate often though not when watching porn.It feels like I’m watching a movie when I’m looking at it.I’m Christian and I’ve been acting this way since I was like 9.I’ve prayed and the longest I’ve stayed clean was 2 years but then it got worse,I guess.I just felt like nothing worked.I’ve had a girlfriend but my dad found out and broke us up.I just…dont want to be like this.I want to be normal.I’m bi as well..but I dont want to be.
check out the Divine Mercy and you are forgiven
also look at Theology of the Body