It still hurts
Posted by Not so strong woman in Sex on Sep 21st, 2008 | 16 commentsMy husband raped me. He took advantage of me and, despite my protests, raped me. I stared at the ceiling while he held me down and prayed for it to be over.
I haven’t told a soul till now. A lot of people have asked, point blank, if I’d ever been abused or taken advantage of sexually and I can’t bring myself to admit that it. Even in the vaguest sense. I want so badly to believe that I am one of those women who’d never been raped or exploited. Just now I’m realizing how much it affects me all the time.
I tried to tell myself that he was my husband, so he had the right, but I feel like he took something I can’t get back. And I can’t bring myself to admit that he had that power.
16 Responses to “ “It still hurts”
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It doesn’t matter that he is your husband or not the matter of the fact is that he raped you, and you have to do something about it, don’t stay quite talk to someone say something because what he did was a crime. And if he really does care about you he wouldn’t have done that to you.
I bet you are still living with him.
GO TO THE POLICE AND TELL THEM YOUR HUSBAND RAPE YOU??? WTF DO YOU LOVE YOUR HUSBAND? A MAN HAVE NEEDS JUST LIKE YOU DO. THIS IS SOMETHINGYOU AND YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS TO SIT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT. YOU SHOULD LET HIM KNOW HOW FELT WHILE HE WAS DOING THAT. COME TO AGREEMENT THE DAYS YALL SHOULD HAVE SEX!!WHY YOU GET MARRIED WITH A MAN IF YOU DON’T WANT TO HAVE SEX. IF YOUR GAY? THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT
You can press legal charges against him if you want. There’s nothing wrong about that.
He took advantage of his power. Your power is that you can take legal action. So you can take advantage of your power as well.
It will be better for you to call him and pour out your mind..
Explain to him how much it still hurts you in a submissive way..
Your Husband is your Husband…
If he apologises to you, then be sure that he still loves you….
You just have to forgive him because he satisfied his urge with you and not with some other lady…
chao
My God, you’re an idiot. Rape is ******* rape, whether its your husband or not. It’s more than about “satisfying an urge”. Not having the ability to consent is a devastating thing, the pain of which lasts a very long time.
You should educate yourself about rape and why it happens. I cant believe you actually told her to be grateful it happaned to her. Disgusting.
And to Not so atrong, I know its 2 years later, but I hope you’ve gotten help and left the piece of crap who deserves to die in jail. If you haven’t please call or go to the nearest rape crisis center to you and look for help from a therapist. I really hope you get/got help and get through it.
[quote post="1548"]GO TO THE POLICE AND TELL THEM YOUR HUSBAND RAPE YOU??? WTF DO YOU LOVE YOUR HUSBAND? A MAN HAVE NEEDS JUST LIKE YOU DO. THIS IS SOMETHINGYOU AND YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS TO SIT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT. YOU SHOULD LET HIM KNOW HOW FELT WHILE HE WAS DOING THAT. COME TO AGREEMENT THE DAYS YALL SHOULD HAVE SEX!!WHY YOU GET MARRIED WITH A MAN IF YOU DON’T WANT TO HAVE SEX. IF YOUR GAY? THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT[/quote]
Ahhh, ignorance must be bliss. I didn’t know that you HAD to have sex with your husband when HE wants it. I didn’t know if you get married and you don’t feel like having sex at the very moment he does means that he can hold you down and rape you. STUPID ******* PEOPLE.
OP, go to the police, **** that shit.
I think that you have to analyze how do you fell about him, whether you still love it or not. But if you still do, the best think you can do is sit next to him and talked about what happened.
Are you sure that he did not think that you were enjoying what you both (actually, he) were doing?
Anyway, he does not have any right to abuse you, regardless the fact that you are married. On the contrary, marriage is supported on respect for each other -and conversation. Talk to each other.
I’m male, around 30, educated, heterosexual (this is just for you to contextualize my comment).
omg…dis is bad…n wht “k@rm@” said is one of d dumbest things eva…..hes ur husband bt dat doesnt give him d right to do anything against ur will…specially something like that….any act done without ur permission is a rape…and its true he did it to u….go get help gurl…or else dis thing will kill u frm inside…u need to take actions like everyone else suggested above!
I know how you feel. I’ve been there too and I have to honestly say some of these remarks are terrible. Sometimes to see the big picture you need to stand back and look at your situation. Were you hurt? Did you take pictures of black and blue marks?
Even if he’s your husband, he doesn’t have the right to force you to do things against your will. It is just not right. If you really need it, please find someone you really trust to talk about it.
It is my sincere wish that you won’t stay upset for long. You really don’t deserve it at all.
What is wrong with all these second rate private detectives that are offering you legal advice. All you people are wrong!!!
Lets examine this situation. If she goes to the police more often than not nothing will happen to him cause it will be a matter of he said / she said.
No buises no case.
Worst case senario lets sayhe does get arrested and goes to jail.
Then what happens? Who will make the car note? Who pays the rent? Who buys the food? Who protects her and the children?
Oh yea I bet it will be all you bleeding hearts offering her advice to send her man to jail.
There are always two sides to every story and I will bet that his will be totally different.
Truth is not absolute. Truth is subjective. And your truth isn’t necessarily his truth.
Did he rape you? I don’t know I wasn’t there. Did he force you again I don’t know.
But there is a vast difference between rape and force when it comes to husband and wife.
Neither is exclusive or inclusive. And unless he beats you black & blue most law enforcement will avoid this question.
You need to communicate and reach a workable understanding and schedule for being together.
Good luck & godspeed
If he is indeed your husband, it is completely impossible for him to rape you. There is no such thing. You are his property. Maybe you should have paid more attention to his poor character before you married the loser?
Geez.. I don’t care if he’s your husband or not.
Freaking leave him and report him!
He’s not being a husband if he sexually abuses you.
LOL @ truth is subjective!
If he raped her then he raped her, whether he knew it or not. As to what the woman should do, it depends on what happened. If he physically hurt you besides forcing you, then I may say leave him. If he just forced you, you might want to give him another chance. On that note, however, if he continues to do this then I would say leave him.
My God, some of the responses. I think people are desensitized to rape now. “If he just forced you”- how dismissive. Talking about forgiveness like its the most important thing or because that makes the ain of rape go away.