down there
Posted by lonely in Sex on May 5th, 2011 | 13 commentsI caught herpes from a rape and cant tell anyone. I have been abstinent since finding out. I cant risk dating and the rejection or worse the person telling my secret to everyone or someone I know. My life sucks now!
13 Responses to “ “down there”
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You don’t have to be ashame for the scar that someone placed on you. IT’s a terrible thing that was done to you. You will have to find the strength to move on, because that’s how you can “defeat” him. Otherwise, his power over you will continue if you avoid dating.
Don’t talk about your situation upfront; once you are ready to be more intimate, that’s the time to share. If the person truly care about you, I don’t think he will reject you for that matter.
This is rather cruel. You should be able to be honest up front.
Truth: LMAO So no sex just sucks got it. Don’t worry about it whats a little std between friends? All kidding aside rape sucks but the fear of rejection due to a std could be very real. Maybe find someone else who already has herpes? Sorry is all I can say I have no experience with this issue. Just wanted to say hugs and good thoughts to you.
Finding somebody else with herpes is actually quite a good idea.
Rape is never easy to get over, believe me, I know. But it’s not your fault. Educate yourself about herpes and love yourself for being a survivor. Not everyone is going to reject you for having herpes. Learn to love you for YOU and ultimately someone will love you too
im really sorry to read what happend to you.. but you def need to talk to someone about it, you cant hold on to something damaging as that, because it will only affect you more, talking to a professional or even your family will help you, its not your fault, dont be ashamed.. just be strong and look forward, im sure theres many people that love you and will love you.
First off, you need to go to a doctor. Today there are medications which can reduce the symptoms of herpes. If you haven’t done it yet, you should also talk to the police, not only for your sake, but so that the person who raped you can’t do more damage to other people. You should also try talking to a psychologist because rape is a very difficult thing to go through, especially alone. I wish you all the best!
I totally agree with E.N.E. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you to go through this alone. You should tell what happened to your family as well as the police. I wish you the best of luck!
Trust me herpes is not the end of the world. I have it too (caught from an ex bf) and since my first outbreak it never happened again (it is type 1 but still) and it’s been 4 years. I never told any of my friends, only my mom and it does help to confide to at least one person. At first I was sure I couldn’t date anymore. But I had a few bf since then who always accepted it and never got any rejections because of it. You will find someone that will love you for you and would go pass it and have a normal sex life again. Trust me, my dating and sexual life were never different after it happened. You only need to know the person first and let him know you before you have sex and tell about it. And it is a better thing than just have sex on the first night.
I am so sorry for the rape, that i can’t help you with but like other ppl told you, you need to go to the police or a psy. Best of luck!
the same thing happened to me, i was raped by a man who claimed he loved me. i didn’t found out i had it till months later and i was with someone else i blamed it on him but then found out the truth that it wasn’t. i ended up giving it to him, i felt horrible and felt like he was the only person who would want to have sex with me/ will be with me. yes it does suck and it can be very frustrating but its not the end of the world and theres plenty of medications that help to reduce symptoms. stay strong
I wanted to share with you that I have been living with Herpes (type 2) for about 5 years now. I contracted it from my now husband who had no signs of it at the time. While I understand our situations are different of how we got this disease, I can tell you that you can live with this and still have a healthy sex life.
You must go to a doctor and you need to get on the prevention medication because this will help you with the breakouts. Obviously, no sex while you have a breakout (how anyone can have sex with one, I don’t understand!) but remember that safe sex from here on out and honesty with your partners. You can have a healthy relationship with someone that is Herpes-free, but if you are worried about that, you can find someone with it as well.
This is not something you need to lead with. Like someone else said earlier, you can wait until the time that feels comfortable to you to tell your partner BEFORE you have sex. Obviously, this can be a very scary thing to tell someone. For some this will be a deal-breaker for a relationship and for others they can deal with it. I know that isn’t very comforting but imagine how the other person feels before you think anything negatively.
Did you know that approximately 20% of women are living with Herpes (either type 1 or 2)? You are not alone!
Do I feel like an awful person every breakout? Yes, it makes me feel dirty, like I should have known better to have unsafe sex. BUT! The breakouts gradually get less and less frequent. Remember, safe sex! The CDC has stated that having sex with herpes should be limited to mutual monogamous relationships but that using condoms is the surest way to keep it from spreading if you are with an uninfected person.
Just be strong and remember you’re not alone! While we contracted it differently, remember that your life is not over with the disease. It may be a little more difficult, but you WILL make it.
Go to doctor and ask antiherpes treatment. E.g. Wartec is excellent. Look it up on the internet, and solve your problem.
Got Herpes Simplex 1 from first wife, and was shocked, and very let down…depressed. We divorced. But, use a condom, inform partner(s), and life goes on! It’s only a virus! Glad it isn’t Herpes Simplex II, that appears on the mouth!
Women, no matter your shape, form, blemishes, you have absolutely no clue about how perfect you are, in the eyes of a good man!
We only see the perfection of you, and have an attitude of gratitude, that we are so very blessed to have you in our world!
Forget the past pain, and live in the NOW!