I Want Him Again. I Always Will

I’ve been with you since I was sixteen and you were twenty-two, I am now 30. You stole my youth and I hate you for it, Remember the guy I cheated on you with about a year into our relationship, The one you fought with, the one I always wondered about, I think I may have loved him at one time. I saw him at a bar a few weeks ago, and I went home with him. My friend called and told his friend I was still with you, and his face changed towards me at that moment. If it wasn’t for that “Friend” of mine, ruining the moment; I would have f**ked his brains out, I would have rode him all night long until we were both raw. Instead he sucked on my tits and we fell asleep we didn’t even exchange numbers, I doubt he’d ever call even if we did. You ruined my chance with him again just by your name being mentioned, you took me away,. away from everything and everyone,.. you took my life, my happiness, my self-esteem, my everything, and now I just want it all back,..but its all gone…and just you remain,…I hate you but I love you so much,.. you are a part of me,.. I just can’t let go of,…Ever since I saw “Him” I can’t stop thinking of being with him even though I know he never really wanted me,.. I still wonder if he did. The only thing I feel bad about is that he never asked for my number. I don’t feel bad for you or about going home with him, with the intentions of cheating on you,..I feel no Guilt,.. only pity for Myself.