you said we were family

My best friend whom I relied on for emotional support when my blood relatives were being terrible, is no longer my best friend. Who was by my side through the worst times in my life, when I was being abused helped me get out of it. My best freind’s family supported me so much as well, would even let me stay with them if I needed to. Would drive so many miles to pick me up from school when I couldn’t handle my mom’s abuse anymore. Treated me like family. Helped me open up and see my strength again. My best friend that I could tell everything, who I spent so many summers with and we had the time of our lives. We wrote stories together, ate together, talked about our dreams, had those 3am incoherent conversations, laughed over everything, laughed over nothing. We grew up together. My best friend that always listened. Whom I would do anything for. But it’s all for naught. Apparently it’s nothing to you. You told me you had a crush on me, I said we should think about it first before we did something like that. You became so distant and unhappy. I gave in, knowing I would do anything to make you happy. We dated. But for how long? Now I’m just an ex. You broke up with me. I’ve felt so alone. You said we were family. We’re really not, are we? You said we should still be friends. I realize I have been relying on you too much. Is it because of me? It’s been over six months and you haven’t made contact. I don’t know what I did wrong. I know my emotional intelligence isn’t as high as yours, but it was never a problem before. Just an ex. It still makes me cry. I had a battle with depression through this semester because of many things. This didn’t make it any easier. I just don’t know what to do anymore, and I try to move on but it still hurts. I’m so tired of invalidating all my feelings. This is how I really feel. If we are just exes now, you are just a scar. A big, gaping scar. I have tried to reach out but you act like you don’t care. It’s enough to be abandoned by one family. It’s another thing to be abandoned by two.

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