Two tears in a bucket….

Mother f*** it. It is finals time here and I’m losing my mind. This is a professional degree program so more is on the line then when I was at the state university. I feel like I can’t concentrate.

I meet the prefect woman and all she wants to do right now is whore it up. She has a broken heart and just wants to sleep with as many guys as she can. That isn’t the part that f****** tweaks with my mind. It is the fact that when we were hanging out instead of telling me the truth of the matter she lied and said that she didn’t feel anything for me. Bull shit. She spent the past week building herself up to me and then hanging out was cool and the kiss was great.

No spark my ass.

I’m tired of meeting emotionally unavailable women who can’t be honest with me let alone themselves. I’m tired of meeting all the wrong women.

This shit is hard. Yea, I signed up for it but it is still f****** hard. I’m tired of having no one to turn to when I need a hug or to tell me it is okay. Being alone sucks ass.

I’m also tired of people telling me at least I tried or some shit like that. Yea, I tried, failed, and got hurt in the process. GO F****** ME.

I’ve spent the last year and well over ten grand paying for escorts. I’ve had all the random sex I can muster. Empty, and meaningless.

I want something real with someone.

It seems that is too much to ask.

8 thoughts on “Two tears in a bucket….

  1. I recommend you to read Baggage Reclaim from Natalie Lue, it’s a blog that greatly discusses the topic of emotional unavailability. You might find very insightful information.
    The fact that you meet one type of women over and over is no accident

  2. Your the first person I’ve read on this website. My advice is to not give a shit. Yeah that chick might be lying about how she feels because she probably thought the same thing about the last dude she dated exclusively. But dont be a selfish prick and think she’s doing it to you on purpose. She’s just as lost as you are bureau worse. And yeah I know women use their snatch for pure evil but we’re not all like that.. And what do you expect from escorts? That’s their job to feed their children they are doing exactly what you want for the time allotted, at least be thankful for that even if it is fake, so is the date.

  3. Hey, I know how you feel but I’m a female-it’s worse bc you give your life, time, heart, & body running the risk of getting pregnant & stuck! What a waste of flesh some ppl are! I’m tired of being alone too !it truly SUCKS ASS!!!!

  4. Man I completely understand how you feel. Just wait, it’s coming man. This New Year, 2016, just think in your mind how you will meet this women. It could be early In the year, or late in the year. Just imagine. Imagine how you will meet this mystery women. Think in your mind how much you want to find something meaningful. Put all of your thought into it. All of your heart. It will happen in 2016. I’m telling you. It will come as a total shock to you. Mark my words.

  5. If you are currently in a professional degree program you need to stop cussing so much. Using foul language is a sign that you are not intelligent. As for the woman, she’s a loser, lose her!! After that get your act together and stop looking for the “perfect woman” until you finish your education. PS. There is no such thing as a perfect woman; just as there is no such thing as a perfect man.

  6. Dear Friend,

    Please consider taking some time off from dating so that you can improve your prospects and improve your attitude about meeting women. There are so many books and articles on dating. Why not avail yourself of them. Loneliness is something that everyone has to deal with whether they are young or old. Try to find something to do with your time so that you feel worthwhile. Volunteering at senior center or hospital might be just the thing for you. Also try to be more social, join a club or something. If you continue to feel badly, please get therapy so that you can figure things out. Good luck in school and take care now. Do please let us know how things work out for you.

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