Mother f*** it. It is finals time here and I’m losing my mind. This is a professional degree program so more is on the line then when I was at the state university. I feel like I can’t concentrate.
I meet the prefect woman and all she wants to do right now is whore it up. She has a broken heart and just wants to sleep with as many guys as she can. That isn’t the part that f****** tweaks with my mind. It is the fact that when we were hanging out instead of telling me the truth of the matter she lied and said that she didn’t feel anything for me. Bull shit. She spent the past week building herself up to me and then hanging out was cool and the kiss was great.
No spark my ass.
I’m tired of meeting emotionally unavailable women who can’t be honest with me let alone themselves. I’m tired of meeting all the wrong women.
This shit is hard. Yea, I signed up for it but it is still f****** hard. I’m tired of having no one to turn to when I need a hug or to tell me it is okay. Being alone sucks ass.
I’m also tired of people telling me at least I tried or some shit like that. Yea, I tried, failed, and got hurt in the process. GO F****** ME.
I’ve spent the last year and well over ten grand paying for escorts. I’ve had all the random sex I can muster. Empty, and meaningless.
I want something real with someone.
It seems that is too much to ask.