I can’t stop loving my cheating ex…

My confession is this: I still love the girl that’s cheated on me. It has been over two years since we’ve last spoke, but whenever I think about her, I cannot stop myself from feeling sad.

Here is my story:

I dated a girl of my dreams. A girl I once thought “got away” in high school. Somehow we found each other in college (Thanks Facebook). We dated for roughly 2 years, where we fell madly in-love with each other, or so I thought. One day she told me she kissed another guy, because I was giving her too much attention. My thought process was, how does that make sense? But because I loved her so much, so I gave her another chance.

Stupid, stupid me. I was so spiteful of the fact she was willing to do that to me, I tried cheating on her, and I couldn’t because that’s just not who I am. So I broke up with her. Well, life became grim for me. I didn’t have anything to look forward to. Waking up every morning alone, sad, and crying for couple of weeks.

Today, almost three years later, I still get my stomach twisted when I think about what could have been, and how happy I was. But today, I was finally able to unfollow her on every social media outlet. My heart feels heavy, because I wish it could have worked out.. but that’s not how relationships work.

I guess what I’m afraid of most is that I’ll never be as happy as I was when I was with her, as that was the happiest time of my life. I understand I have 50-60 more years to go until I might die, but I’m afraid because of all the relationships since then (3 gfs and few hook ups) haven’t been as satisfying.

I still love you, HK, but I also can’t forgive you for causing this much pain in my heart. I just hope I can find someone who can make me happier than you ever did.

6 thoughts on “I can’t stop loving my cheating ex…

  1. My wife’s great, young love–the love of her life–died in a car accident on his way to propose to her. How does this relate to you, you ask? You aren’t guaranteed anything in life where time and love are concerned. Step out of the shadow of the past and allow yourself to look forward and find joy in what you have, rather than sorrow in what you had (and lost).

  2. I was once in love with a girl that was the love of my life……so I thought at that time. Monica was her name and she played with my love and loyalty big time, and I was looking for excuses to keep on forgiving her and take her back because I was afraid that I will never find anyone like her. The truth is that I never found anyone like her,….. I found way better. It’s true that it took a bit of time and learning, but about 10 girlfriends later I found the True Love, overshadowing Monica at any level. She is my wife for many years now and the mother of my kids. I know that you feel down now, you still hope that somehow she will read your post and she will come running in your arms confessing that you are her true love, I know that your mind creates countless scenarios in which you two will end up together and live a dream life…..I wish that for you. But don’t think me heartless for saying that most likely she is not the one for you. What you live at the moment, most of us have or will go through at some point. You seem to be a decent young guy, with a lot of love to give to the right girl, I guarantee that you will find the one that will be truly the love of your life but you need to get out there, stop comparing any girl with her, give your love in small doses, (no girl can handle overwhelming, overprotective and suffocating guys), trust your gut feeling when you feel something is wrong. The Moon seems the to be the most beautiful think in the sky, but if get a telescope and look past the moon you will be surprised what you will see…..
    Cheer up and go get them…

  3. Everybody has that person they wish things would have worked out with. But you gotta move on bro. Some guy is blowing her back out while she’s screaming his name and you haven’t crossed her mind once. She’s moved on and you should too. That’s life. Things are never gonna work out with other chicks if you’re still grasping on to the thought of your EX. No ones ever gonna be good enough for you if you’re expecting them to be her. A girl doesn’t even have a fair chance of loving you because you’re stuck on the memories of your ex. Theres no way they can compete with “memories”. And memories tend to seem better than they were when they actually happened. For example: I was once hooked on a chick just like you are now. We broke up but eventually got back together about a year or more later. But during the time we were apart, I thought about her all the time, I checked her social media for new pics of her… EVERYTHING. When we got back together, it was okay, but I soon realized something. I missed the memories of her and the thought of being with her more than I actually missed her. I didn’t know the difference between those things at first, but now I do. I quickly realized that I oversold those memories of her in my mind. She was okay, but not this “once in a lifetime” girl that I THOUGHT I remembered. Look bro, get out there and meet new people. Don’t expect everyone that you talk to or date to be “The one”. Just let it play out. Eventually you’re gonna meet a super hot, cool girl. And she’s gonna make you question why did you ever think there wasn’t a girl better than your ex… So let go bro. Holding on is only gonna hurt you and anybody you try to build a relationship with. “You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage the lose sight of the shore”

  4. Here’s the truth. You’re putting her on the pedestal with all these great possible thoughts in your head. If your dream girl is the one that plays mind games and cheats than it’s time to reevaluate what you want. For sure my dream girl doesn’t make me feel depress for three years.

    Time to move on and open yourself again to someone new. You’ll never be happy because you’re hurt/scared. You’ll find someone again and when you do you’ll understand what’s real and what is fake.

    Opening up again will mean a couple of things though. You’ll get hurt again but screw it, at lease you tried. And you’ll meet someone better that’ll understand and respect you. Time to move man, best of luck!!

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