Past lives
Posted by younganddumb in Regret on Feb 5th, 2011 | 4 commentsI am in love with the most amazing guy I have ever met, he accepts me for who I am. But everyday I live in fear that he will discover I had relationships with two men who were much older then me. (….by 14 years and 25 years.) I could trust him with anything, but this would crush him, he hates extreme age relationships. It will forever be my secret…(I hope).
4 Responses to “ “Past lives”
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It seems that he is a bit immature. Your past is your past. If he can’t handle it, then he has some growing up to do. He’s not going to benefit by knowing this information so don’t tell him. Really, it’s none of his business.
Tell him with the situation permits it, if he discovers it from other source other than you then he will actually leave you (i have see that many times before).
Show him that you trust in him, but do it when the situation permits it, don’t tell him out of the blue without context.
Wow, so… delusional much?
“he accepts me for who I am”
and then:
“I live in fear that he will discover I had …”
Really doesn’t matter what it is. The fact is, he doesn’t accept you for who you are because you’ve never given him the chance to see the whole (real) you. You’re selling him a lie. You’re absolutely right about one thing – 20 years from now, when he discovers who you really are, he will be crushed… to know that he wasted all those years on a liar.
At least show a little faith in him and tell him now.
You’re past in none of his business, so he shouldn’t ever need to know. All he needs to know is that you were safe and are not exposing him to anything. Anything that you decide to share with him is at your discretion.
That being said, I couldn’t imagine being with someone and be terrified that they would flip out about something as inconsequential as the ages of my past boyfriends. I think that that tension would kill the relationship for me. He might not like it, but if he truly loves you, he should be able to get over it. If he can’t, then maybe you’d be well rid of him.