Not worthy of love
Posted by M.C. in Regret on Feb 16th, 2008 | 5 commentsI was with my husband for 6 years. Through the course of our relationship, he grew to be a college graduate and a successful businessman, earning 0K a year, traveling 2-3 weeks out of the month, and, in my mind, constantly reminding me I was never good enough. I loved his spark, his humor, his ambition, the nice dinners and vacations we would have, the big 4-bedroom house and our little family of neurotic pets. But the big house got lonely. And I got tired of never being good enough. I needed emotional support, which I searched for and finally found in a good male friend of mine. When I left my husband 3 months ago, I slept with my friend. I wavered back and forth as my husband tried to win me back and I wanted to go home, but I felt drawn to the comfort of my friend, afraid to let my husband back in. Then I made a cross-country move with my friend. We’re living in a hotel, looking for a 2-bedroom place, unwilling to admit we are in a relationship even to each other. I am miserable. Running away has only made things worse. I am somehow still reluctant to divorce my husband. I see pictures of him and his new girlfriend and I want to choke her. But I can’t imagine going back to that emotional place. I want to tell my friend I love him, because I think he needs to hear it…. but I don’t love him that way. Not because he doesn’t deserve it… but because I am still in love with my husband, and I don’t feel like I am worthy of love… from anyone.
5 Responses to “ “Not worthy of love”
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If you still love your husband and he loves you… Don’t give up, go back to him, talk to him, try to CHANGE your life, be happy together.
You are an idiot. I am glad that your husband moved on and is happy.
You sound like a selfish fool. Go lick your wounds. You reap what you sew.
[quote comment="726"]You are an idiot. I am glad that your husband moved on and is happy.
You sound like a selfish fool. Go lick your wounds. You reap what you sew.[/quote]
gee, i bet that comment realy helped you feel better. how is it selfish to want to be loved, but not feel worthy? talk to your husband to see if things can be worked out. if you’re not happy with this friend, tell him what’s wrong and if things still arent right, leave him, you shouldn’t commit if your heart’s not in it.
I am sorry this has happened.
Arrange to meet your husband, print your note out(or something similar) and give this to him and have him read it in front of you.Tell him you want it to work and you want to be happy, you want both of you to be happy – ask him if he is willing to be a part of that plan. Be prepared for the fallout,if one occurs.
Don’t tell people you love them, because they want to hear it… it is unfair and you are using him so you are not alone.
Being alone is OKAY,please don’t be afraid of it, your happiness is invaluable.
if you dont think you should be loved why are you tiring these two men.
sort your life then look for them, if they will still be there.
i agree . you reap what you sow.
why do you think you need a shortcut.
or anyones sympathy?