My husband molested my daughter

My now ex husband molested my oldest daughter. Its heart breaking not to mention sick because he was around since she was a baby and was the only father figure for the first be years of her life. When it came to light she was 9yrs old. It broke my heart because I had no clue and seen no signs. I feel like the most horrible mother cause things happened to me as a kid and I felt I should have noticed something and didn’t. And recently thing have came to light and I think he did the same things to his own daughter too. How could I not have know he was a sick bastard I want to crawl in a hole most days cause I feel like the worst parent ever.

8 thoughts on “My husband molested my daughter

  1. Don’t not feel guilty for something a man did. You did your best to keep her safe. Do not put yourself down because of some mistake. Stay strong. The best you can do is send him to jail and comfort your daughter. You and your daughter will heal. Everything will get better. Don’t let this bring you down. You need to keep doing your best to keep your daughter safe. -A 11 year old

  2. Im not even 12 yet. You did your best to keep her safe. Do not put yourself down because of some mistake. Stay strong. The best you can do is send him to jail and comfort your daughter. Your in my prayers. Everything will get better. God bless you <3

  3. You are not a bad parent. You know that your ex-husband abused your daughter and you are your family are healing together. A horrible parent would ignore their child’s pain and behave as though the abuse didn’t happen. Which is exactly what happened to me. I was 4 years old when I was sexually abused by my mother’s boyfriend; she knew but she hid it. Which resulted in me being abused by other people and other relatives ignored it.

    I love my mother but I would be a healthier person mentally; if she had spoke out.

  4. This is not your fault. This is part of the devastation they cause; not just to the victim, but to the trust of the entire family. He has victimized all of you; you and your daughter are possibly both feeling some sort of guilt / shame in all of this. Neither of you should feel that way. You did the right thing by divorcing him and removing him from both of your lives. I hope you both enter counseling and become a greater support network for each other.

    F*** him, I hope he dies.

  5. I’m so sorry for (most) of your family. Can you go away to a quiet, fun location with your daughter to talk? Of course get her counseling and support and be there for her – kids are resilient, hope mom is doing ok

  6. Dear Friend,
    You’re a good parent, not a bad one. You love and care for your daughter and probably did all you could to keep her safe, right? Of course you did. What you now probably need to do is to forgive yourself for not being able to prevent what has happened. No parent can keep their child safe 100% of the time. You’re no different. Again forgive yourself and let the chips fall where they may. If this continues to bother you, please get therapy.

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