More Conflicted Than Ever

I’m such an idiot. I’m dating the most wonderful guy on earth who treats me like a queen, and I adore him, but last night I slept with a guy I’ve only known for a week. I also am still madly in love with my best friend, no matter how often I tell myself I’ve begun to get over him, something happens to remind me of how much I miss him and still love him. But what’s truly torturing me is having cheated on this amazing guy I’m currently with, because he doesn’t deserve it and I’m honestly not that kind of girl. I don’t even know what I was thinking!! I didn’t want it to happen, but somehow I’ve found myself in this situation the morning after anyway. But I don’t want to give up my sweet, sweet boyfriend either because he’s the greatest prospect I’ve had since my best friend. I made a HORRIBLE mistake last night. What have I done? This isn’t like me at all and there’s no one I can tell… What do I do?

23 thoughts on “More Conflicted Than Ever

  1. You can’t undo what you’ve done; but you need to decide who you want before it goes any further.

    Talk to a pastor or a counselor…but talk it out and come to a decision. Good luck.

  2. been there and done that sometimes people need to get something out of their system put it behind you but never ever tell him you will regret the truth more then the night of passion.

  3. You don’t say you’re exclusively dating and it seems to me your concern for this person is a genuine reflection of the good person you are in your heart.We all make errors in judgement when dating and dating someone doesn’t necessarily encompass a lifetime commitment to that person.He can’t possibly be the most wonderful man in the world to you,as you say you’re still in love with your best friend.It seems to me you wish he could be the man you love and I think that’s where your poor choice came from.I think you should take the time to understand yourself better.What are your hopes,dreams and aspirations for yourself in this life?Know who you are now and who you want to be and you’ll find that special person who will want to share their life with you.Move forward.Forgiveness is allowed,because we all need its kindness from time to time.We all only get one go round of this life and the sincerity of what you had to say makes me believe you’ll do a good job of it.Peace

  4. If you haven’t already, give up your sweet, sweet boyfriend. Imma tell you why. Besides the fact that its immature and unfair to drag someone along who you are cheating on, you will open up a door to serious anger or some sort of dissappointment on his part. He will not take it lightly if he finds out and the longer you wait , the more likely it will be that you will successfully build up negative feelings in his heart when he finds out. And He will find out. Your other option is completley cutting off the person you loved in the previous relationship for your sweet, sweet boyfriend………. How old are you?

  5. hey sweetheart,
    it’s obvious you don’t think to much of the guy your dating or you wouldn’t have put your self in a situation to be sleeping with some other guy you met a week ago. just accept the fact you still like being free and single and having fun. as for you still being in love with your friend, tough.

  6. Sorry, but you ARE that girl. Your actions speak louder than your intentions, feelings, hopes, etc. Either be the person a great guy deserves, or let him find someone he deserves. Its not too late to change.

  7. I am in the same kind of situation.
    Mistakes happen. Just make sure your guy doesn’t get to know . He would be VERY hurt. And you do not want that.
    Just ask god for forgiveness.. and NEVER do it again.
    I’m trying to forgive myself too and its hard..
    But i love my guy. And I’m NEVER EVER gonna do such thing.

  8. Don’t worry about it. Really. Try not to think about it. Never bring it up with him. Who cares? What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him. As long as there’s not a ring on your finger-you’re golden.

  9. Well, by definition, if you cheated, then you are the kind of girl who cheats. Might as well not make excuses about that. It’s not as bad as it sounds, anyway.

    Nonetheless, it is done, so the question is what to do now. Your options are: 1) tell your boyfriend and possibly lose him, or 2) don’t tell him and feel a bit guilty.

    #2 is probably better for the both of you. Just try to accept that it was a mistake, and that if you focus on him in the future, maybe you can have a good relationship.

  10. You have to tell that sweet sweet guy what you’ve done. It’s better than living a lie and always having it on your conscience. In your heart, you know it’s the right thing to do. It’s a character issue.

  11. Don’t sweat it. You had an affair. So you are human. Maybe you can accept the idea that you are that kind of girl, at least for a moment in time. Don’t let this one moment in time haunt you. Move on.

  12. If this is not going to be a reacurring theme, well then get yourself an STI test before resuming being intimate with current boyfriend. Why make yourself feel better and him feel worse when you don’t need too. Now if this is something that will happen again then you really are not ready/mature enough to be in a relationship anyway. We are human and make mistakes… Sometimes we do not learn until we make one in the first place. Forgive yourself 1st. As for being infatuated with this other person… get over it and move on as you have clearly stated that your current BF is amazing. Why not see where that goes, the grass is never greener on the other side.

  13. i know how u feel.. been in the same position before.. first off you need to start by trying to forgive yourself. let go of the bestfriend because theres a reason why he’s not your boyfriend and continue to love and appreciate your boyfriend. ITS HARD NOT HAVING NOBODY YOU CAN TRUST TO TELL….the memory off what you did will never go away but it will start to fade away and might replay in your head from time to time… IT’S HARD TO FIND A GOOD MAN!! HOLD ON TIGHT !! :)

  14. “and I’m honestly not that kind of girl. ”

    God showed you that you are no that perfect girl as you think of yourself. Say thanks to God, and accept yourself as normal human being who may make even mistakes. And in the future please be a bit more forgiving both to yourself and to other people.

  15. Don’t sweat this so much. I mean it was only sex. You aren’t married to anyone yet. If you had a serious emotional attachment to your boyfriend AND the guy you slept with, it would be a difficult problem, but you love your boyfriend and the other guy was a sex toy! As far as not being that kind of girl… you aren’t! If you slept around with every Tom, Dick and Harry, that would be one thing. We are brought up to put our noses up at sexual promiscuity. I think we put too much time judging what comes natural and not enough time looking for what is really important in our relationships. This was a sexual encounter… nothing more, nothing less. Quit beating yourself up and move on. Some people would psychoanalyze this thing to death and say that you have issues about your boyfriend or you would have never done this. BULL! As far as telling your boyfriend. Would it really be good for him to know? Of course not! Do you want to dedicate yourself to him for the rest of your life? If so, don’t let yourself get into this situation again. If there is even one doubt or hesitation when I asked you that, you had better do some soul searching. As far as loving your “best” friend… make sure you know before it is too late.

  16. You need to tell him… Your going to have to be completly open and honest or you will be the one eating this for eternity.. You need to ensure to him your deep regrets. and let him know that if he wants time away he is more than welcome to have it… Ensure him of your regrets not the same old i love you im sorry ill never do this again etc.. You need to speak from your heart..

  17. Telling him will only hurt him. It happened and nothing can undo it. Telling him to ease your conscience would be selfish and pointless. Your pennance is to live with it and learn from it and never do it again – period. Oh and maybe get tested to make certain you did not get an STD from your fling. Good luck.

  18. Ohh my goodness this sucks so muchh!
    I know exactly how you feel, I’m going through it right now but you have to let him know. If he loves you and truly wants to be with you, he’ll make an effort to overlook this and make it work. I wish you the best of luck because it’s not easy and it takes balls but it happens :/

  19. Do not say a word. Do not make your BF suffer also. Get your act together. Make up for it, get it our of your mind, don’t repeat it.

  20. I think you should tell your boyfriend, even though you dont want to loose him, he does deserve to know. And if you do care for him like you say you do then you will think of him. Also, it will give you a sense of freedom when you tell him because you dont have to hide such a big secret.

  21. If I were you, I’d be honest with him. If you’re as sorry as you say you’re, and you are certain he loves ypu, then neither of you deserve the silence. Besides, secrets like these can destroy a relatiinship.
    On another hand, if you’re not certain of your relationship with him, you may not want to tell him.
    I would say your a selfish b*tch, but I don’t know you so I won’t.
    Advice: If you’re going to tell him, make sure to express exactly how sorry you’re and how much you think what your did was a stupid mistake that will never happen again.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.