I’m young, married, and living overseas with my husband who is in the military. I am stuck here with no opportunities for myself and it all hit me at once. I love my husband dearly, but all I ever fantasize about lately is living on my own, by myself. I want to finish my education, make my own money, splurge on a $300 pair of shoes or $200 jacket and not have to explain it to anyone. I want to travel the world, meet foreign guys and have passionate vacation romances. I want to visit the east coast and find a place I really want to live. I want to work a 9-5 job, be on my feet all day, and party on the weekends. I’m sick of the life I’ve chosen, the life I convinced my parents I wanted. I realize, too late, that I was naive, and now I can’t turn back. It’s depressing.

8 thoughts on “Monotony

  1. hey tell him!
    you sound like a great every-mans wife with $300 pair of shoes or $200 jacket.

    my hunch is he doesnt know and women are just too terrible…. waiting for men to read their minds instead of speaking up!

    like one man say no one wnat a grumpy wife.

    the problem is most probably from your side not his.
    if you love him you still have everything and more.

  2. Don’t stay in an unhappy marriage just out of some kind of “obligation” because you convinced your parents you wanted this marriage.

    At the very least discuss this with your husband and see if there is any marital counseling available through the military.

    If you truly believe this marriage is a mistake, then get out while you are young because the only thing that is going to happen if you stay is you will get older, have children (if you don’t have any yet) and then feel even more trapped. Then you will be kicking yourself for not getting out of the marriage when you first realized it was a mistake.

    Your husband might be devastated if he find out you want to divorce him but at the very least if you do it sooner rather than later, it will be the sooner he can try to move on, and not just yourself.

  3. i’m sure is not to late for you to move, you are not stuck, but you like confort and stability, if you really wanted to move you would pack and leave, but at that your scared. economy is doing bad so i dobut you’ll be “splurging on $300 shoes, especailly if you get a 9-5 job” wake up. it’s not your husband, it’s you. you decided to marry, and live that life. if you feel like it’s greener on the other side go for it, otherwise shut up.

  4. U’ve made Ur choice and the best U can do now in my opinion is to learn to love it or U’l probably end up more sorry later than U feel now. Maybe start by confessing Ur new dreams to Ur husband? Who knows, he myt just be supportive of most parts of it.
    stop sounding like Ur marriage was a wrong decision. U must have seen lots of good to have entered into it.
    Ur life doesnt have to end in marriage. Leave fantasies in fantasy land. Embrace and make good the reality U have.

  5. It’s okay. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

    You still can start by getting a small type of job. You can choose not to live with your husband if you can get a good enough job that will pay for your daily needs. And build from there.

    There are many people who suffer a lot in their lives and didn’t even had any choices for what happened to them.

    Just start with the smallest effort you can make first and take a step at a time.

  6. I was in your exact situation and stuck with the marriage for many years before finally realizing how stress like that can take a toll on not just your emotions but your health. I finally walked out. There were other reasons it had to be done, but some of them are similar to yours. I resented not being able to do the things other young people do: go to school, live in a dorm, date the wrong guy for awhile.

    Divorce might not be an option for you. It wasn’t for me for many years, and I still love my husband. But get out of the house and the relationship for awhile. Find other expats, non-military, and do something that’s your own. I started going to wine tastings, dinners, movie nights, all with other people. It helps…a little.

  7. Hey,

    Wake up life is too short;……I would not want to have my wife stick with me if she felt this way. It would all be just a lie.

    Now get going the world is waiting.


    Guy 44yrs old

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