my dad died last month. I have emotions. I have hate. Loneliness. I lost my motivation for happiness. I lost my will power. I quit my job. I cheated in my boyfriend with my ex. I told him the truth. and then i found i got an std from my ex which i then gave to my bf. I’m in hell. how did i get in this place. my dad is not here to help me. I wish he was still alive to shake me before i cheated. or perhaps to slap me. I love my boyfriend so much. he does everything for me. he’s loyal. he’s great. i give him shit for his video games and his nerdy friends and his metal music. why am i so blind. I wasn’t raised this way. I grew up poor. i grew up with the nerds. I had 2nd hand clothes. i grew up on alternative music and metal. . . now . . . i am a varsity cheerleader. I went from brown hair to blonde. I have name brand clothes. $140 dollar jeans. i listen to all the trendy music……and for WHAT! where the hell did i lose myself.