Messy Depression
Posted by Anonymous in Regret on Mar 20th, 2011 | 2 commentsI have recently been in a really dark place and have been suffering with some kind of depression although I haven’t been “professionally” diagnosed.
Today I realized how badly this depression affected all areas of my life, including the state of my house. I can honestly say I was shocked when I decided to start cleaning. The clutter was slowly increasing but I had no idea how terrible it had become until the cleaning. But it wasn’t just clutter. There was dirty dishes, dirty laundry, old floor stains. I was disgusted with myself to say the least. And then I was expecting guests over and I was about to have a panic attack – I have never felt so much shame in my entire life. I wanted to cry. I had this constant sick feeling in my guts.
I used to be such a clean freak and a perfectionist. And then I had become the complete opposite.
I still have a bit more cleaning that needs to be done but I’m looking forward to getting my old house and my old self back.
2 Responses to “ “Messy Depression”
Leave a Reply
Subscribe
Just start one step at a time. Do it for you and no one else. Who cares about a messy house anyway?! If it`s not hurting anyone, it can wait a few more days or weeks. But still do it a little bit at a time, and before you know it it will be done! And you will hopefully feel better.
Also get checked by a doctor. I went through a depression phase.. it turned out I had low iron levels. Took me while to get those up, but that within several weeks, that heavy curtain lifted and I felt better.
I hear you. When my husband left me, I sank into a deep, deep depression. I let every dish in the house get dirty before I cleaned them, every piece of clothing get soiled before I washed anything. I let the trash overflow until it was falling onto the floor, and I just swept it aside with my foot instead of sweeping it up. I needed help.
First things first: you need to get help! There is no need for you to feel ashamed. Think of your messy house as a metaphor for the state of your emotional health. When you conquer your depression, you will conquer your dirty house. The first commentator was right, who cares about a messy house? It’s not their house. It’s yours. You can do whatever you want with it. It’s not important. But you are! Take things slowly. And if you haven’t already, go to the most important people in your life and tell them what you’re going through. Believe me, they’ll want to know and help you get better. You need friendship, love, and emotional support around you. I know you may not have the energy to even get up and get dressed in the morning some days. Take one step at a time. Do one little thing every day to clean your house/organize your life. And do one thing every day for yourself.
Take the time to look at yourself in the mirror every day and talk to yourself, out loud. It may seem silly, but it works. Tell yourself that you are strong, smart, beautiful, amazing, deserving of good things, etc.