long time ago
Posted by hope he knows in Regret on Feb 8th, 2011 | 2 commentsTwo freinds and I went to a mutual male friends house in high school. we had all been drinking. I was close friends with this person, he took advantage if me in many ways. However, I was intoxicated. We went to his house, he didn’t come looking for us…or even call. I never told anyone everything that happenend, but we both know. I hope he feels guilty. I feel guilty for my actions and it was 19 years ago. No one asked for anything, it happened. i don’t place blame on him, he was 17. What was he to think? I thought we were really freinds and he would just want to hang out like we had so many times. I wonder if he ever thinks about it or if he thinks I wanted to wake up in his room naked and wondering what happened. Maybe he doesn’t know, I wonder how many men don’t realize the damage they’ve caused or how many women know they were just as much to blame…in my case..maybe more. I wish I had never went to his house that night.
2 Responses to “ “long time ago”
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My sympathy is with you. I’m a survivor myself. You’re right, he SHOULD feel guilty for what he did to you. Does he? Probably not.
If he was the kind of person who had a conscience he wouldn’t have raped you in the first place.
Forgive yourself, grieve over it. Talk to professionals or support people and do your best to not let him affect your life.
There are others out here who understand what you’re going through, reach out, if you need to. Peace
You are right, I have never thought of it that way…if he had conscience he would have never done it in the first place. Thank you so much.