I should have married him
Posted by Anonymous in Regret on Oct 5th, 2008 | 12 commentsMy HS boyfriend. We were almost married, I was so stupid to break up with him. I still love him, even to this day. Now I am stuck. Married to someone I don’t love, with 2 kids I don’t want, living somewhere I can’t stand. My ex-BF is no longer living, so I will never get the chance to have the life I always wanted. I would give anything. Everything & anything to go back in time & change it back to the way it’s SUPPOSED to be. Sometimes, I look around & I say to myself ‘How the hell did I grow up to be ME? How is this MY LIFE?’ How could I have screwed up so badly? I am MISERABLE and it’s all my fault.
12 Responses to “ “I should have married him”
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I just want you to know that you are not alone in this world. There are so many people that shars the same feeling that you have. I fully understand how you feel, because I am in the same setuation and I don’t know what to do. I have the life I have and marriage I have. if you like to chat email me so we can talk.
Just try to make the best of what you have.
I understand your heart.
I am unmarried male and at 41 I am still a virgin. It’s a personal sacrifice that I’ve made to honor and a gift to the one that I love. It does not matter if she is a virgin or not, what matter is that my heart is hears and I have her heart alone. Two years ago I met someone who is 15 years younger than I. We met in the purest of intentions. She was engaged to her HS sweetheart and that engagement lasted for 6 years before we met. Before they got married there was doubt in her heart, but I never tried to sway her. I am a dear friend to her and we both found in each other a friend till the end of our days. She is my best friend and I think she’d say the same. I have never tried to be romantic with her before or till now. Before she got married (with her doubts and confussion, a stiring begain inside of me that I never saw coming. I was never attracted to her even though she is radiant and beautiful. I simpley fell in love with her soul. Wheather from the decay of old age or illness I found a beauty inside that I wanted to call home to. I never revealed my heart because I feared in the forever seperation of our friendship. I cherished that friendship and bond more than pursuiung her heart. Her one year anniversary was just last month and It pains me to say that I’m deeply in love with this woman. I can’t help it anymore or deny it. I think that she senses somehing inside of me, but I dare not reveal it and heap shame upon me and then the monster is our of the closet. With the doubt that she had heading towards marriage last year, there were and still are problems between her and her fiance. I don’t revel in their problems, but I selfishly want to dry her tears and warm her heart if she would only let me know…… I wish that i had the courage to speak up and tell her what I’m feeling but I suffer in silence. I want to give her all the love and intimacy that I don’t think she is receiving. I’ve waited 41 years…….I may be stupid but I will wait some more if it is her heart that would be mind to gain. The wait is more than worth it to me.
what 41 year virgin?
is that really normal.
quickly get rid of it
i dont think any woman will
touch you as you are.
but then its just my opinion.
Sometimes things won’t work the way we wanted them to be, but after the failure, frustration and disappointment, we become more stronger- if we will accept our fate the destiny we had chosen. As they always told me, we are the driver of our life and its us who choose the path we’re going to take. It is us who manipulates our fate just like holding it in our palm.
If we would put the past behind and face the fact the reality then we might as well survive the miserable life we had. We might as well overcome the regrets and frustrations that conquering our well being making us to be irrational.
Life we had offer too many options, it is us who chooses what we want that life to become, at the end we choose the wrong step and end up repenting. Its our fault? yes because of our wrong jugdement and choices..
Now, what should left to be done?
Imagining things that will never happen?
Trying to go back to the past that doesn’t exist?
We just wasting that effort.. The left options we had is to move on..
move on..
move on..
move on..
never think of the past..
try to live your life to its fullfilment
Try to think the people around who loves you..
Consider their feelings if they’ll find out your regrets of having them with you..
You already lost someone precious, now even though that something or someone you possess now doesn’t mean anything to you now still you have to hold unto them and don’t let go. Soon if you’ll throw them away, you’ll soon realize their value and you’ll end up again with too many regrets..
life is what we make it.. so go for it.
In the first place, it is us who messes with our own life so be it.
How did he die?
Stop thinking now…sometimes u land up somewhere that u dunno…sometimes it feels ur living someone else’s life…sometimes u feel lost and want to go back in time… but u cant turn back time, and u cant change the way the world goes round… regretting wud onyl make things worse! How cn u hate ur own kids… dey r the only way to bring some happiness n cheer back into ur life….stop hating everything around…afterall dey r ur ownnn children, and this is what God had actually planned for you…not wht lies in d pat…ur married n have children of ur own, love them and ur life…n start by loving ur ownself!
do u really regret having made the choices that are the reason for your children’s exictense?
I hope you never tell your kids what you just told the world.
why can’t you divorce and give up custody of your children?
I mean, that is an awful thought to advise someone to give up custody of their children, but as someone said on a show I saw a few days ago:
what good are you to your children if you are miserable?
will your husband be able to care for them? if the answer is yes, then perhaps you would be better off on your own?
I suggest you try marital counseling if anything just so you can get things off your chest and maybe things will look better or you will realize you have to end the marriage.
first of all i dont know why all you ppl are telling her it will get better – those 2 kids you say you dont want – those are yours and you shouldnt regret them like that – you may be hurting them in return.
:( I broke up with my HS sweet heart to date the devil who had taken over the body of a man. I hate this site.