I regret getting caught
Posted by Anonymous in Regret on Jan 2nd, 2011 | 2 commentsI’m a married woman who had an affair with a married man. We both believe were each other’s soul mates and he wants me to leave my husband, but I’m afraid of destroying my children and hurting my husband (he didn’t deserve it). We both have good spouses and good lives. I regret getting caught. I wish we had been more careful, so we could still be friends.
2 Responses to “ “I regret getting caught”
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I’m sure this isn’t the answer that your looking for but yet I just felt I had to throw in my own two cents and my opinion for what it’s worth.
I’ve been through significant upheaval in my life including the loss of a 17 year sham of a marriage. My opinion is that not only is marriage highly over-rated, it’s also archaic, out-dated and monotonous. Who needs monogamy and why is it even necessary anymore? I could see a hundred years ago it was needed to support women and children but the world has changed and so must these ideas. With half of all marriages ending in divorce. It’s time for people at large and as a society to start opening our minds. Though I did not have an affair, I don’t blame you- IMO, have more and tell your husband and lover and his spouse to do the same. Good luck
Don’t get a divorce. You will regret it. If you have a good spouse and a good life, then work to keep them. The old saying, “The grass always looks greener on the other side,” is so true, but you will end up with a complete set of different problems with a different mate. It’s a Pandora’ Box. You’re in the honeymoon phase with the new guy, so you’ve only seen the good side he wants you to see with him. He’s still trying to win you, impress you. It’s a mirage that will fade away once you’re there. Believe me, no one else will love your children as much as you and their father, either. That creates all kinds of problems in itself. Divorce damages your kids and gives all of you stress for years to come. My kids suffered in so many ways, and I carry tremendous guilt for this. If the children blame you for the divorce, you may even lose their love and affection, because of resentment. My 1st husband was my best friend and I loved him. I thought my 2nd husband was my “split-apart” and I loved and adored him passionately. I wish I had made a different choice when I was where you are now. I wish I had kept my family together and kept the love, happiness and peace that we all shared. My 2nd husband had a dark side that I was unaware of and I have suffered and endured much mental and emotional pain through the years. I miss the love, peace and harmony of my first marriage and my family. A blended family after divorce is never like a real family. My husband loves my kids, but not like his own and sometimes has treated them like stepchildren in obvious differences that have made me furious over the years. The undercurrents of resentment are strong on both sides and go on for years. My stepchildren resented me and did many things to hurt me over the years. My children have resented my husband, especially my daughter, the oldest one, over the years. All of these things cause many fights between you and your spouse because it’s the nature of defending your children. The relationship between spouses after divorce becomes one of competitiveness, even if you do nothing to promote it. One parent can do it alone. My 1st husband constantly buys the kids things and takes them places all the time..fun..fun..fun..with me being the one who had to fuss when their rooms were a disaster or they didn’t do their homework, etc…he quickly became the good cop and I became the bad cop..without me doing a thing to create the competition..it exists. I hate divorce, what it did to my kids, my family and me. I wish I could take back my affair and divorce.