I let my mother die
Posted by Amy in Regret on May 4th, 2011 | 5 commentsMy mother had a congenital heart condition that was supposed to take her by the time I was about five. She outlived her prognosis and while she had occasional problems, she lived a wonderful life with my dad and me until I was about 15. She went downhill mentally and physically, there was a huge deal where dad threw her out, they got a divorce, then she had post-trauma from her childhood, depression from the divorce, and worsening heart trouble. We fought for a whole year.
Toward the end, she started reaching out to me. I was 16, going into 11th grade. I was supposed to spend the week with her while dad was out of town. We had this amazing early part of the day and around noon went back to her apartment. She told me she didn’t have long left. She told me lots of things about how she didn’t want a viewing but wanted to be cremated to be rid of her body, and how she looked forward to eternity. But then our last conversation was a fight. She collapsed.
I watched her die. Only then did I call 911.
This was in 1988.
I alluded to this in a memoir I wrote and no one caught on or thought it was real.
Should I confess to the police?
I watched her die. My own mother. I loved her.
5 Responses to “ “I let my mother die”
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omg i almost cried but sweetheart its not a crime
Look, I don’t really know what to make of this, or if you are any way at fault, but its not as if you stabbed your mother in the heart and watched her die. She was ill, and it was getting worse and worse and she clearly was already preparing to die sooner rather than later. Perhaps she would have lived longer, but maybe not. You didn’t “kill” her, or let her die, you failed to call for emergency response.
when its someones time to go, its there time to go, she obviously knew then and there that her time was up.
i dont think there was much you could have done, even if the emergency services had got there.
Don’t spend your life feeling like it’s your fault cuz it’s not. I know you wish the conversation would have been different but don’t blame your self
Yes, confess to the police. Not because they’ll do anything (I’d be amazed if it even gets you a citation for the failure to call for emergency response asap) but because I think you will feel better for them to know and acknowledge you’ve done nothing prison-worthy. It is likely you were in such a state of shock as she was dying that you DID actually call for the emergency services as quick as you could.