I killed my baby =(
Posted by brokenhearted in Regret on Apr 14th, 2011 | 23 commentsi had an abortion 10 years ago b/c my then boyfriend wasn’t ready to be a father… 10 years later, i’m married to him now – we were married last year – we have an 8 month old son and every time i see my husband with our baby – i hate him for making me kill my baby all those years ago – and i hate myself even more for choosing to listen.
23 Responses to “ “I killed my baby =(”
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how could he make you kill it, wern’t you born with a mind of your own? if so you could’ve said not, you’re the one that gave the go ahead to do it, he only suggested you have it done, take the responceabilty for you actions.
as i’ve responded to a previous person, we were 16 year old kids that weren’t mature enough to be having sex in the first place let alone deal with the consequences of becoming pregnant – we were scared and couldn’t go to our strict parents so we both made the decision – he didn’t force me.. yes i had a mind of my own but i was an immature kid.. im an adult now – i love my husband very much – am just sad at times of the life that would have been.. i am far from proud of my actions – i have to live with it every day.. i put this out there for people to read so that maybe someone who sees this who is in the same position can see that they are not alone
Why would you even listen to him in the first place? How dare you!
It wasn’t up to him. I hope your ‘baby’ grows up to hate both of you.
wow – that’s pretty brutal…. i am the author of the above – i was 16 years old when i got pregnant – i was a kid what the hell did i know about being a parent – i lived in a bubble where my parents never talked to me about having sex and what would happen – i went to a strict catholic school where sex ed was never brought up etc.. i never stopped to think of the consequences of having sex – like most kids these days… i would have lost my school scholarships and been kicked out of my house – i was more scared than anything so the quickest thing for me to do was abort the baby and not ever think of it. As an adult – it makes me sad with the choices that i made. Was it the right choice? for me? maybe – im a very successful attorney – would i have risen this far if i lost my scholarships? who knows… – i love my husband very much – the choice was hard for both of us back then – we were kids – that should have never had sex that young in the first place… he didn’t force me to have the abortion – i was just a scared kid.. before making these kind of comments – please consider that maybe there is more to the story than whats being said.. these decisions are extremely hard for people to make
If that is how you feel then why did you even post this… to vent?? to get other peoples stupid opinions? Have you ever tried a journal or maybe just getting over it. You can have babies now. that is all that matters. You are ready now, everything is good… why are you complaining.
@Mos
”How dare you”
Who the fu.. do you think you are? You sound exactly like other religious freak who writes hateful comments like yours all over this website. Why don’t you look at yourself before judging like that. Oh no! Wait, you must be perfect!
I was in that position…. enjoy your little one!
thank you =) im sorry for your loss.. and hope you find peace
This is another plant by an anti choice mouthpiece, and even lamer than the first one I “outed”.
You are STILL this traumatized yet you married the man who you blame? 10 years later? Plus, now when you see him with the kid you feel hate instead of love or relief?
Oh I get it-if you have an abortion your life will be a hate filled nightmare. Of course!
First off – you haven’t “OUTED” anyone – i am pro choice all the way. I am not STILL traumatized over my actions – yes i think of my unborn baby all the time – but i get up everyday and live my life… we were kids who should not have been having sex in the first place and had to deal with the consequences of having sex and getting pregnant – for me – back then having an abortion was just the easy way out of “not getting in trouble” with my parents – because as an immature kid – that was what i was most worried about – not the fact that i’m having sex and may get pregnant and have to make the decision of having an abortion – but it was the right choice for me as sad as it is.. i love my husband very much – we were both kids and we stayed together all these years and now that we are both financially stable, we can now start a family. i don’t hate him – i just get sad at times of the life that would have been – he’s an amazing father and husband.. i live a great life – no nightmare i just wanted to write this so that people think twice about HAVING sex – the consequences of it… kids these days are so quick to have sex and think “oh – no big deal, we’ll just have an abortion” but it is a big deal – i am glad that there are options out there for people who are in the position that i was in.. i just want them to really think about having sex and really understand the decisions that will have to be made should they get pregnant… People that choose abortions live with it for the rest of their lives, yes, they live their lives and get up everyday, and it can be the right decision for many, but it’s still sad and you still think of it years later but it’s still sad. you live with the choices you make – having an abortion just happen to be the choice that i made.. i’m a happy fortunate person, doesn’t mean i don’t get sad with the decision that i made just to feel good for a few minutes of sex…
You read a few sentences that someone writes and you rip it apart without really understanding the reasoning behind writing it.. you should think twice about the way you respond to posts.. we are all human beings – you may not agree with everyone – those “anti choice mouthpieces” but that is their CHOICE to feel that way – just as it is our choice to be pro choice.. we all have the choice to make the decisions that we have mad and live with those decisions everyday whether right or wrong
you lie between teeth.
why do you think about the aborted child?
children have small human life unlike some
goddamned statues.
who makes the choice for the children?
even though it may seem like it was him being selfish, the abortion was for a greater reason than him not wanting one at the time
idk how old u were but i can almost bet at the time u 2 weren’t financially stable to bring a child into this world
and i believe theres nothing worst than seeing a child who’s parents cant even take care of them
lives are lost everyday and yes it is a serious situation but it isnt something that u should dwell on ur entire life
you are with the father of the previous child and u have a beautifully healthy child so think about that child as not just one but both of ur children and live ur life with love at the fact that u have a healthy family and they love u just as u love them
That was so sweet to write – it is greatly appreciated! I never thought to think of my son as being both of them together! I was young when it happened – i hope others can learn from my experience. Thank you…
definitely being lied to.
what if finances dwidle and get finished when child is bigger… hang them?
abortion has traumatizing effect that need therapy
and clinical help.not wishing away.
Hang them? Not at all. If the parents can’t afford the kid, the kid gets taken away from them by Child Protective Services, raised in foster care, bounced between homes every couple of months until it commits its first felony. Then the child becomes a ward of the state until it’s old enough for adult crimes and adult prisons. Meanwhile, the parents divorce due to the stress, one or both will become addicted to drugs or alcohol, both will lead broken lives for the rest of their lives.
Statistically, this is what happens to teenage parents.
and some people say abortion has no cost.
its pro life. so much bs
Abortions cost about $400 depending on your state.
Those of us who are pro-choice understand that there is an extreme emotional cost that has to be paid by the person getting the abortion. It’s an agonizing decision as you can see from the above. But those of us who are pro-choice are smart enough to know that we can’t make that decision for them.
Brokenhearted; There’s a extremely high chance the baby you have *now* wouldn’t have been born if you’d had that first baby. The financial and emotional pressures of a baby you weren’t prepared for (in what would undoubtedly have been a rushed marriage) would have torn your marriage apart with the first diaper. Your marriage wouldn’t have lasted long enough to conceive the child you have now.
It’s the worst kind of “what if” question – but if you’d had that kid 10 years ago, then today, you’d be a single mother, scraping by on welfare, in a bad neighborhood, trying to keep your 10 year old away from drugs and alcohol. Statistically, you’d have failed miserably, and “Dad” would be no where in sight.
wow are you retarded?? There is nothing wrong with abortion and nothing wrong with second chances. Obviously you can have kids now, and are doing fine at it. If your now husband was not ready for children 10 years ago.. then you were not ready either. It takes two people to have a child. Do not feel bad for yourself. It was no baby you killed it was just a mistake, and you fixed it. You are fine, why the eff did you even post this. Live life Regret Nothing!
I read all the replies posted here and I gotta say there are some real ********* here. She said in more than one of the replies that she posted that she was just trying to warn people, she`s not complaining she`s just warning people what the consequences of your actions can be like, so if all the retards could stop hating it would be nice.
Exactly.
Thank you!
May I give you a bit of advice. This same thing happened to my sister years ago but she didn’t hold regrets. Today she is a happy woman. You deserve happiness too. Life is too long to hold on to such regrets. Forgive yourself and your boyfriend and move on with your life. Therapy will likely help you also. Good luck.
I am so sorry for your loss. At no point should you be told that you should not feel anything about this. You have a right to feel the way you do. I don’t think anyone could place themselves in that situation.
Try http://www.rachelsvineyard.org/ I have heard that they are wonderful in abortion healing for both Mothers and Fathers.
Again, I’m sorry that you were in that situation, and I am sorry for your loss.