I can’t do it anymore…
Posted by Anonymous in Regret on Dec 19th, 2010 | 7 commentsI am 15 years old and very depressed. My parents don’t know, and my best friend doesn’t know just how bad it is.
About a year and a half ago, I was sexually assaulted by my boyfriend of that time. It was actual sex, but it’s been very difficult to get over. I thought I was over it, but I’m not. I haven’t slept well in three months.
I cut myself almost every other day. My friends think that I stopped cutting long ago. They just don’t realize how good I’ve become at lying to them. To everyone.
I want to die. Everyday, I wake up and think about how I want to die so badly. I can’t help but think that it would be for the best. Who would miss me? I don’t have a boyfriend. Nothing ever seems to be good enough for my parents. My friends don’t understand me at all. I’m so different from everyone else. I’m always pretending to be someone else to hide myself from the world. I don’t want anyone to know who I really am, how I really feel.
I just can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to wear this mask anymore. I just want it all to end.
7 Responses to “ “I can’t do it anymore…”
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you’re lucky to catch it early. start seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist. you can still have a beautiful life after this traumatic experience. please don’t cut yourself. find people who you can be who you are. love yourself!
O sweetie that is hard….it may seem like life is empty but I promise it will get better. I am a younglife leader and not sure if u know about it but u should look online to c if there is one in your area I promise it will make u feel like somebody and don’t have to hide
It is going to get better, I promise. You’re so young and you have a long and beautiful life ahead of you. I promise that one day you will look back at this and it will not hurt you anymore. Just hang on. You will make it.
Oh dear,do not worry about it.I know it is very difficult but you cannot cope with anything If you go on like this.Don’t cut yourself please.you are young.When you grow up ,nobody will hurt you and you won’t shrug off this.believe me
love is a hit and miss thing sweetie you only have one you
Don’t talk to friends, family or relatives about it, go see a professional that you feel comfortable with. getting over this is hard work but rewarding, take it from me, I’m living proof. You can get through it too, sister!
Hey, Im the same age as you. I went through the EXACT same thing for three long years all throughout middle school. Im not here to say its going to get easier. Because it wont if you dont make an effort. I know you probably are. And maybe it isnt helping. All I have to say is,if you do find a boyfriend or girlfriend(not a fling) You will feel better. I was amazed how much my life changed when i started dating my current boyfriend. We’ve been dating for almost two years now.Now i feel almost…I dunno…Normal. Better. Try it. :) Might take a while but its worth it to have some one close to talk too.