Deep regrets

Posted by in Regret on Apr 11th, 2008 | 3 comments

I grew up in care. That’s not my confession, it’s just a bit of background. In a way, it’s 2 confessions in one.

When I was 15, I went to my friend’s house, to get him up for college as I usually did, and upon entering his room I found him lying in a pool of his own blood on the floor. He had slit his wrists. This was a guy I had known since care, had been like my big and little brother rolled into one. The night before, I had cancelled going over to watch a movie. I feel so guilty, like I could’ve saved him.

To make matters worse, he had left 2 notes, one for his parents and one for me. My note said how he’d waited for me to call and say I’d changed my mind, and that he loved me but had never had the courage to tell me. I loved him, I always had, but I’d never had the courage either. Now I have to live my life knowing that if I had just told him he might be alright.

3 Responses to “ “Deep regrets”

  1. iam the girl whom want to suicde says:
    April 11, 2008 at 9:54 pm

    its godwilling dont feel guilty

    Reply
  2. nikki says:
    April 30, 2008 at 4:25 am

    i know what you feel like my bestfriend billy commited suicide(hing himself) because he was so stressed out. i felt like if i would have called him more and went to see him more he would be here today in stead of being dead. i feel like suicide id the answer sometimes but i look at his picture and think what i went through when i lost him and i realize that suicide is a long answer to such a short problem. it is not your fault just like when billy killed him self it was not my fault.

    Reply
  3. ginny says:
    January 8, 2009 at 8:03 pm

    My best friend of 4 yrs died in a car wreck when we were 16. I always drove her home but i didn’t that day because i was mad at her. and she died. I hope you realize like i eventually did that you are not responsible for someone else’s actions. perhaps your friend would not have done it that night, but maybe the next night instead. we can’t live our lives in fear that what we do or don’t do might make someone do something or not do something.
    i am so sorry that you had to see him like that and you were just a kid really. i wish you peace =)

    Reply

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