I’ll be dead soon

I’m dying of a terminal illness, and will very likely be dead by next month. My family doesn’t know; I dread to think of the pain this will cause my mother and my daughter. I’m only 33.

running away

im young im not 18 yet but i want to run away i feel as if my family isnt here for me they took away everything comp..cell..credit cards.my entire social life because i told them i was gay. i hate where i live and i hate the fact that they wont accept me.should i leave or go. if i stay its going to put me threw more torture than it has the past 4 years.i just dont know what to do and plus my mother doesnt beleive me that her nephew sexually abused of me.

whore

I know my mother is a hooker.

Fantasies about sister-in-law

My wife’s sister grabbed me through my jeans years and years ago before we married. Her sister is a hottie, and did some pretty suggestive things a few times with me. In spite of that, I’ve not acted on baser instincts, and I know the sisters love each other. I’ve even had some weird suggestions come from my wife before about her sister. Don’t want to mess things up, but boy, is this tempting.

my roomamte

I found a video of my room mate and his NASTY FAT GF doing all kinds of shit.

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Sick

I can not stay faithful to anyone no matter how much I love them. I enjoy sex the most when there is money involved and I mean ALOT of money. I will never have children because I secretly believe I am mentally ill and I do not want to pass it on. I hate myself. I am not happy unless I am the most important person in everyone’s life. I went to rehab when I only smoked weed and now I am an alcoholic and cocaine addict and noone knows. Despite all of this, I am happier than I have ever been.

Double Life

Sometimes I feel like I live a double life. I am the responsible one in the family. The one who is always there for everyone and puts everyones needs in front of my own. I am the favorite daughter, the best friend, and the innocent all-american girl next door. Although I have no kids of my own, I watch my nieces and nephews, and several children in the neighborhood practically every day. I am the kind of person who, when I die, everyone will say “She was the nicest person I ever knew. She was always there for everyone…..ect.” But I have another side……I am afriad to open myself up to men. I have never had a boyfriend. But I love to have sex. I have sex with random men all the time. I love porn and talking dirty online. I have had sex with men for money just for the thrill of it. I at any given time have at least 2 friends with benefits, and I love to sleep with men who are married or in commited relationships. I am a dirty whore, a homewreckers, and a prostitute. But to my friends and family I am a godsend.

Exposing my self

If my mom found out what I do she would kill me. She devoriced my dad when I was 6 and over the years did date a few men but always said she would never marry again. Two years ago her boyfriend moved in with us and he is very nice and very handsome. I am attracted to him but know he really loves my mom. Over time I would try peeking at him a was able to see him naked a few times. Then one time last year I notice him looking at me in my underware after school. At first I was embarrassed by it but it made me hot knowing he was looking at me. When my mom is out of the house and we are alone I go around in front of him sometimes in my underware and sometimes with just a towel around me. I have even been able to let him see me naked four or five times so far. I always act like it is no big deal. I can tell he likes looking at me and I get aroused by it and masturbate a lot. I know I shouldn’t do this and feel guilty sometimes because three times I could see he had an erection. One time a few weeks ago he was in his pajamas and I walked into the kitchen in a towel. I bent over three or four times and know he saw my vagina and rear. When I turned around facing him I couldn’t help but look and could see his erection. I almost laughed because he was blushing and sat down right away. I looked right at it and he knew I saw it. I just sat and talked to him for a few minutes and went back to my room to masturbate. I know I can turn him on but as much as I like it I know I shouldn’t tease him like that. My mom has never said anything to me so I’m sure he doesn’t tell her what I’m doing. I keep telling myself I will stop it but can’t help how much of a thrill it gives me.

I am a bad son

I am a bad son. I shut myself out from my own feelings most of the time, even at work. I am 21, and I believe I have some form of social anxiety, as I blush many times each day while at work or in front of other people, except my family. I blush at the simplest things, walking in front of people, talking to people, getting asked questions, it bothers me but I do not have the courage to tell even my own family about this.

As far as my parents go, they are very loving towards me, and sometimes I treat them like garbage. I love them dearly, but I haven’t told them that in years. Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me. Tonight I got in a fight with my mom because she moved things from my desk that were important to me and I spent a long time looking for them in my room and she can’t remember what she did with them. I yelled her, and hit the wall and made my hand bleed. I cried for the first time in a few months, and sometimes I think that killing myself would be better off for everyone around me, including myself. I don’t think I will ever do it though. I do enjoy life, but I am antisocial, have only a few close friends, and I shut out my own family lots of the time. I do really love them and care about them, but it’s hard for me to show it.

A few days ago in an argument with my mom I acted incredibly stupid by pushing her lightly back, and I have never regretting doing something more in my life than that. She started crying, and I did too once I went to my room and closed my door. She told me tonight that that broke her heart, and asked if i was ashamed of doing it, and because i was frustrated with arguing with her tonight, i said no. But I really *am* ashamed of doing it. It tears me apart inside. I love her with all my heart, I just wish I was able to show it. She has a good relationship with my sister, they are always talking about her (sister) boyfriend problems, friends, parties, everything. But I tend to keep things inside me and don’t let my parents in on anything that might be going on. I’m more private. I think that she probably likes my sister (who is 18) more than me, and I don’t blame her if she does. I love her very much either way. I wish I could show it somehow. This is why I believe I am a very bad son.

I hate my father

I hate my father. He treated my sibling and I like sports machines. We were only athelets when we won. He forced us to listen to motivational tapes and read books designed for motivating salespeople, beginning at the age of 8. As life progresssed, as long as I was producing gold medals I was left alone. When I decided to give up my sport, I was ridiculed and made to feel stupid, lazy, worthless. I became a burden to him, no longer the one to make him a big man in front of friends and co-workers. He never told me he was proud, I assumed he was because he didn’t berrate me like he did my brother.

He owned his own company. I was never allowed to get a job outside of his company. He went so far as to change my major during a college orientation because I was not allowed to have my own life. He owned me!

While in college, I dated a verbally and physically abusive man. He raped me. I tried to come home, to a place which should have been safe. Only to have my father tell me, men want things and you should have given it to him. Its not like you have never had sex before. I was instructed to take the abusive man back. I refused. College was no longer paid for and I was forced back to work for him as payment for the college education I wasted.

My mother was always verbally abused. He would neverthink of hitting her because trophy wife needed to look perfect! Although words do not cause bruises, they do cause scars. He was never faithful to her. His mistress actually showed up to my mother’s funeral!

During her four year battle with breast cancer, he deprived her of any luxuries, he said there was no money, of course he blamed me for that as I was a failure in running the company.

Six weeks after Mother died, he began to date other women. Lavishly bestowing gifts on them taking them for trips and cruises…all the things mother wanted to do before she died. He said he had a new found freedom. All the while preventing me from getting a raise to support my growing family.

He hated my husband. My husband valued me. To my father I was a breeder and a waste of oxygen.

Eventually my father married a girl my age with very materialist desires. He had put on airs he was weathier than he actually was. She and he blew through 250,000 in less than six months. He then began to blame my husband and I for his financial problems. Once again blaming us for not running a company we never wanted the way it should have been run. Although, we have no power in the company.

Our office manager was stealing from the company. I told my father she was, and he said I was wrong and she was a god send. We are currently in the middle of a law suit against the office manager for
embezzling 100,000. He still hasn’t admitted he was wrong.

Now, he continues to cheat, lie and spend money like it grows on trees. I have realized, I hate him. I have tried to make him proud, I am through trying. He wants so badly to mistreat me as well as my children. I have a suprise for him, I have started my own firm. I will be able to leave him high and dry in a few months. His new will says if he dies, I have to pay his whore wife for a company I helped start. Ha! I will leave her with a floundering company and him with a wife who will eventually leave him because he is broke! He threw away the only person who cared for him. Now I don’t care and I am proud of myself for becoming what I am, in spite of him.

I’m going to die soon

I’m going to die soon and I’m the only one in my family who knows.

I am in love with my neice (my cousin’s daughter)

Hi all,
this is one thing that i would never be able to talk to any one about…
I have a neice who is 15 yrs younger to me. she is my maternal cousin’s(brother’s) daughter. After her mother’s death she came to live with us (my mother and my cousin’s mother were sisters)she was a small kid of 6. My mother took care of her. Now she is 17 and i am 32
I left home to go to another city for a job and used to come home every christmas and easter. Last year in the month of July my mother fell sick and i had to come down to see her. I had never thought this would happen but as usual i was talking to my neice and suddenly had this strange feeling and I held my neice’s hand and said that if i wanted to marry her what would be her reply. she didn’t say anything and just sat there. later that day i was sleeping and she came up to me and hugged me and said that she too had the same feeling towards me… my heart skipped a beat and i too hugged her.
we used to hug each other in the begining later it grew to fondling and kissing and then it led to us making love.
somehow my family started suspecting us and sent her off to her uncles house. she is staying there for the past 8 months.
both of us are in love with each other and want to get married. i am not sure whether this is possible as we being indians we have a much orthodox approach to these kind of relationships.
We both truely love and miss each other and want to be together always.

My cofusion is whether whatever our feelings are towards each other, is it right.
Please help us…