Female on Female Problem

I am 30 and am in love with a female co-worker who is about 50yrs old. My last relationship with a man was about 2yrs ago, and due to him moving away we are no longer together. I was devastated and have never found anything close to the relationship with him, until now. I am going crazy. I am a “good christian” and have no problems getting men, but my co-work is the only one I think about day and night. I dont think the feeling is mutual, but there are times that I really think she feels the same about me. Sometimes I am at work looking at the computer screen and day dreaming about touching her, and funny thing she just walks by me. I have been forcing myself into dating men……all types of men just to find something else, but I have not retuned any calls and have gotten some angry voicemails back, which I dont blame them. It kills me that after her just getting divorced she feels unwanted, she is even going on dating sites. I love her so much if that made her happy I would want her to find that.

If she only really knew, what would happen?

how could this ever be forgivable

I abused infant son.I screamed at him when he wouldnt stop crying.I smacked him on his thighs and he cried harder.i left him for meth. and came back in to his life and left…over and over.i missed his 5th birthday.im 24 now…i ******* hate my self.I ******* hate my self.He deserves a ******* wonderful life full of love and support…why the **** would god stick him with me?! I just really wish i could fix myself but i cant because im a ****** stupid weak ass excuse of a human being.

Abortion

l recently had an abortion ,and l really can’t get over the guilt , can you please give me advice t get over this , l really feel very bad about what l did ,but l did not have an option to it!! Abortion was my only way out

Who’s the failure now?

For as long as I can remember, my mother has never loved me.

She called me names ranging from freak to useless bitch.

She is a self-proclaimed devout Christian who likes to use the Bible as an excuse to punish me for no particular reason. Whenever I did something wrong, she would call me Satan’s daughter, and that I’ll go to hell when I die.

She is manipulative, and saw me as an excuse to vent her anger and frustration because of her failed marriage. She likes yell and scream at me whenever she feels like it.

When I was in high school, she took great lengths in isolating me from my friends. I wasn’t allowed to hang out with them on weekends, or speak to them on the phone.

She likes to make promises, then turns right around and said she never made any promises. It really hurts when the person you’re supposed to trust lies right in your face.
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too late for words

about 5 years ago i had a fling with a married woman. it was just sex for me, but it was special for her. it ended badly. i just pretended it didn’t bother me, but it did. i hoped that someday i could tell her that i was sorry. that i had been a jerk and she deserved better…..she died last night. the only words i have now are guilty prayers. she was better than what she got and i am less for not telling her so.

I love my depression

is that strange? let me elaborate.
ive never told anyone im depressed, i hide it mostly
so im not sure exactly how my illness works,sometimes im really high, sometimes im normal, alot of the time i feel depressed. but yeah, i love feeling depressed, does that make sense? it porbably doesnt. i love the nightmares and ill visions, the feeling of emptiness is insane, it like a drug.having a reason to cry and the altered veiw of reality i perceive is amazing.

for me its not an illness, its a new better way of life.
i would never tell or see anyone about it, they’d take the most beautiful thing in my life away.
it is apart of my identity.
it reminds me that i am different.

I hate my daughter

I raised my daughter with a lot of love and attention. She was so special to be that I basically gave her everything that she needed. I admit we spoiled her. She was a wonderful girl until she started college. She changed so much. She dates other girls, she has casual sex with men also. She uses Marijuana and drinks a lot. But on the other hand she a great grades and even been admitted to medical school. But those other things make me hate her and sometimes I even wish bad things to happen to her. I prefer her to be a better person instead of having god grades. Her friends love her because she’s very funny also. I hope that someday I can overcome these feelings that I have towards her

Guilty Conscience

Recently, I had sex with one of my best friend’s boyfriend. I know it was wrong, but the guilt is eating me alive. I told my parents. I’m not allowed to go over to his house again for a LONG time. It just makes me feel awful because his girlfriend is my best friend. We tell eachother almost EVERYTHING. :(I just don’t know how I’m gonna live with this. I HATE it. I wanna go curl up and die in a hole and be buried deep underground.

No friends

I honestly don’t like any of my friends. I always, always hoped I would find a friend like the girls in movies have. The girls that know everything about each other and help each other through anything. I don’t have that. I have my sister, but I can’t tell her everything.. I have no one. It’s building up, and building up and I don’t know what to do about it. I hope my boyfriend is there for me until we get married (there’s honestly no way we wouldn’t) and I have no girl to talk to any thing about. I regret it so much.

im dissapointed

I cut myself and got caught once in my room during then act when my mom came in and saw me, she told me i had to stop but i had no intentions of.i had many “sessions” of which i call the big skin massacres i did, but i had stopped for two months…… but then i broke many promises last night when i cut again. long, thin ,and bloody scars on my arm.I dont know how to hide them anymore, i dont want to go to a physo home, and i dont want my dad to see them,Im dissapointed of how i gave in….. especially after i almost drowned my sister… on purpose

The night that made me a backstabber

In high school, I had a wonderful friend who helped me through a lot of problems I was going through at the time. We grew apart during college but she was and is someone that I still care deeply about.

She began dating someone, and I happened to meet her boyfriend by chance, without ever being formally introduced. There was a pretty strong attraction between us, but nothing ever happened. No cheating of any kind, no sneaking around, nothing more than casual conversation when we happened to meet. A lot of time passed, I started to forget about him, and eventually they broke up and he came running back into my mind.

And I just slept with him.

Despite the fact that I still like him (a lot), I promised myself that I would sooner cut him entirely from my life than hurt her. I broke that promise. And even though they are no longer together and no cheating occurred, I still feel like I committed the ultimate betrayal.

Sexuality confusion

My whole life since I was a little girl ive been attracted to both girls and guys. Tonight I made out with my first girl and I loved it! But because of my families religion I have to keep it a secret :( I had to tell someone though.