I can’t hide.

You’re a divorced forty-something and a father of two. You’re also my favorite teacher because…
All I can think about when I’m sitting in your class is how much I’d love to sleep with you.
I’m sorry.

I can’t be completely honest with anyone

I don’t believe the addictive urge ever disappears – I think it’s a matter of trying to channel it into more productive (‘applauded’) pursuits.

I was dux of my primary school and topped my year in several subjects throughout high school. I tried to kill myself twice during this time by overdosing on Panadol and sleepgels. My mother used to try to beat the life out of me and tell me I was fat, worthless and stupid.

I became addicted to heroin when I was 16. Spent a year in rehab and was later signed to Elite. Became bulimic and addicted to exercise. Worked as a ‘high-class’ escort and completed college. Completed my undergrad at one of the world’s top-ranked universities and almost finished with my Masters at the same institution.

I now earn a reasonable salary within the corporate field. On paper, I’d be considered ‘successful’ for my age.

I also now drink too much.

For a long time, I’d navigated a complex web of lies to explain the ‘years away’ in my life. Now, being a little older, it’s not so much an issue. People are generally just interested in your immediate past.

I can’t see myself ever being able to tell a partner about my life. It sounds like fiction – even to me. Nobody would ever believe me and, if they did, nobody would ever really understand. I tried telling a partner once and he thought I was being dramatic. He actually laughed.

I’ve pretty much alienated those friends who knew about my drug addiction. I’ve completely wiped out those who know anything about the escorting. So no one really, truly knows about my life to date.

I really wish I had someone I could trust with the whole truth. It gets confusing trying to remember how much I can share with whom.

im an idiot-a heartbroken idiot

I met him 2 years ago and became good friends, and about 4months later we started flirting by texts and facebook. We kissed for the first time 2months later and became friends with benefits. Mistake nr1. He broke it off twice and somehow we ended up kissing and fooling around again. We never had sex, I think in a way I thought I could keep him interrested that way. Typical girl I am, I fell for him. I kept up the facade of FWB for almost 18months… He knew what to say and what to do to eventually get me into bed. It was the most amazing sex ever!! Guess 18months of waiting can do that. Now, he’s ignoring me and my fear came true. Sex was the last mountain for him to climb with me. The mystery is gone and I’m the idiotic girl who fell for her player friend.

He’s Hurting Me

I’m a 16-year old girl,who is just at the end of her rope. I don’t know what to do. My dad has been molesting me since I was 9.It started out with him just touching me, but as I got older he started raping me. I can’t take it anymore. He’s hurting me. Whenever he comes into my room, I die alittle inside. I have no one to turn to. I’m afraid my mom will hate me. I was the reason they almost got divorced and I just want her to be happy. I’ve started drinking to deal with it. It makes me numb. I started going out with this guy a six months ago. He’s nice to me and he makes me feel better. We were hanging out one night and we started making out on his couch. I freaked out. I know he would never force me, but I’m scared of being touched like that. I’ve been avoiding him ever since, and things with my dad seem to be getting worse. I don’t know what to do, I want him to stop and I wanna tell someone. But….I just can’t.

I hit my Mother

The person I call my mother really does not act like one. She drinks (a lot, everyday) but she says it is to “relax” and because it’s “nice to have a glass of wine when cooking etc”.
BULL.
She’s a total bitch and acts like she’s a teenager. She has zero respect and then she blames me for everything. I feel like throwing up when thinking about her.
THIS WOMAN IS NOT MY MOTHER! Well she is, but it’s like I don’t know her anymore, she’s changed into this awful person that torments my everyday life.
I usually end up hitting her, never in the face though. Closed fist against arm or back usually. And I don’t feel bad about it, and it’s really nothing I’m proud of either.
It’s just like, when I hit her, it’s not like I’m hitting my Mom, it’s a stranger. I hate her.

When she doesn’t drink, she’s amazing and I love my “normal” mom. I don’t know what to do. I just want her to stop drinking. It KILLS me.

I am in love with you.

You are 18 and still in high school. I am 23 and still a virgin. You’re girlfriend is pregnant with a child who may or may not be yours. I know you are just with her because you want to be a good father if the baby is yours.

I want the baby to be the other guys so that you will leave her and that I can be there for you when you are heart broken.

The other day, when you joked about taking my virginity, I was silently begging for it to happen. Maybe one day.

Man wants me, and I’m 16.

I’ve got a 23 year old man wanting to have sex with me. I started talking to him a year ago, after I’d broken up with my boyfriend. It was a mess. I stopped talking to him a while ago, but he tries to contact me anyway. Like last night. Don’t like him, and he has a girlfriend now too. I’m 16, but I was 15 then. What a mess, lol.

Mother O’ Mother of mine.

It was alittle over a year ago I told you I was pregnant. I was 17. You thought it was a joke, then you were excited. You told me it would be hard… But you didnt say it would have been THAT hard. You said you would be here with me threw it all…. But you didnt say that was a lie.

I lied to you too though. I PLANNED my child with my now husband.

Then a month later you kicked him out, you expected me not to leave with him. But I did.
A month after that you stole my taxes a denied it. But the IRS caught you.
A month after that… I turned 18… Then we know what happened between our husbands.
Then the doctors told me to go on bedrest or I will lose my child, they told me not to lift anything over 5lbs. I told you they said that. Because I called you crying.

But 2 weeks later you told me to come to your house and get all my boxes, you said my husband wasnt allowed to help me, and you made me do it all by myself.
You let me leave without a goodbye or a hug. You cried and then went on the computer.
That was the last time I saw you.

A couple months later I had my son. You never called, or cared.

And at that moment I started to hate you with everything in me. I cant stand the thought of you, your face, your voice, or even any memories of you.
You destroied me, you left me when I needed you the most, you said nothing when I needed you to say anything.
You’re a pathetic excuse for a parent.
And I hope you cheat on your husband like you did with the last 2. or I hope he cheats on you like he did to his last wife.

You dont deserve to see my child, when he grows older and askes about you I’ll only tell him all the horrible things you said and did.

But sometimes I miss you, sometimes I just want to hear your voice. Sometimes I need your advice, your care. But no matter what your still not here.
You told me to choose you or my husband.
I choose him, because he treats me better then you ever did.

I just wish you still cared.

Laptop Guilt

My laptop crashed and I was told it was dead and it isn’t coming back on not without expensive parts. Then I annoy my parents to get me a new laptop, and when they caved in. Then my dad proceeded to yell at my mom for spending 800 dollars.

The next day my mother’s co-worker fixed my old laptop.

The new laptop is non-refundable because I opened it and I already checked the place I bought it.

I feel guilty, but at the same time I am secretly glad my dad had to spend all that money because he always refuses me items my dad jumps at the chance to get my brother double the price. I am guilty about feeling happy about that, and I’m keeping the old laptop.

I can’t do it anymore…

I am 15 years old and very depressed. My parents don’t know, and my best friend doesn’t know just how bad it is.

About a year and a half ago, I was sexually assaulted by my boyfriend of that time. It was actual sex, but it’s been very difficult to get over. I thought I was over it, but I’m not. I haven’t slept well in three months.

I cut myself almost every other day. My friends think that I stopped cutting long ago. They just don’t realize how good I’ve become at lying to them. To everyone.

I want to die. Everyday, I wake up and think about how I want to die so badly. I can’t help but think that it would be for the best. Who would miss me? I don’t have a boyfriend. Nothing ever seems to be good enough for my parents. My friends don’t understand me at all. I’m so different from everyone else. I’m always pretending to be someone else to hide myself from the world. I don’t want anyone to know who I really am, how I really feel.

I just can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to wear this mask anymore. I just want it all to end.

Gay and Scared

I consciously realised I was gay when I was seventeen and am now in my early twenties. It’s been awful as I have remained in the closet and have gone through some really dark spells where I just felt worthless and like I didn’t want to go on anymore. I still haven’t ‘come out’ to anyone but have managed to almost come to terms with it myself – which has been a very long process. Being a girl, (who wears ‘girly’ clothes and make up, has long wavy hair – in a sense looks very stereotypically heterosexual), I think makes it harder for me as, of course, everyone assumes you to be ‘normal’ – whatever that is. I’ve read so much online about the pride of the gay community but I don’t feel any pride; if I did I wouldn’t still be closeted. It’s so hard hearing everyone around me talk about gay people in an inferior way, especially those with strong religious values. I’ve read the most heartbreaking comments (mainly from people online) – the worst being the quote “aids is not just God’s punishment for homosexuals; it is God’s punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals”. I also read about a guy that got beaten to death for being gay yesterday. There really is nothing any gay hater could say on here that I haven’t already heard, so please don’t bother – you’re not spreading God’s love. I know society has improved so much but it’s still got so far to go and I just don’t feel strong enough to live as an openly gay person in this day. I am so scared every day – I have so much pressure placed on me, everyone thinks I’m the frigid ‘pure’ innocent one because I obviously never have boyfriends, all my friends and family are heterosexual…so basically I feel very frightened and alone. My confession is that I’m gay and I truly believe there’s nothing wrong with it. My fear is that I will never have the courage to come out and that I’m not strong enough to live in a society that refuses to tolerate me and infringes me of multiple civil rights. I can never be free.

Good, Bad, Ugly

The Good: I have two beautiful healthy children. A 2yr old boy and a 4mo old girl.
The Bad: I resent their father (my bf) for never helping as much as I need him to. He drinks and has fun with his friends while I’m stuck at home taking care of the kids, alone. He lies about the drinking, hangs up on me when I ask him about it if he’s not home, turns his phone off so he ‘doesn’t have to deal with’ me when he’s getting drunk..something he promised was over now that we have kids.
The Ugly: I want so badly to leave him…but it breaks my heart to see him play with the kids when he does. His family is amazing…but I can’t shake the feeling that the kids and I are ruining his life. We’ve gone to counselling and he’s still acting 20 instead of 28 with 2 kids. Every one I know says I deserve better than him…but since being with him and never being appreciated, my self-esteem is shot to hell…I’m scared to be alone because I have no idea who I am anymore…raising two kids alone when my bf is on the couch watching tv is killing me. I used to be a cutter but stopped once my son was born..it takes everything in me to ignore the knives in the kitchen…I want to be happy…but I’m terrified if I leave him he’ll take the kids away from me…they mean the world over to me. I’m beyond lost…I have no emotion towards him anymore…too much damage has been done…but still I can’t leave…I feel so weak.