Wondering What Will Happen Now…
Posted by Elizabeth in Love on Jul 20th, 2010 | 6 commentsI am in a very complex situation. I’m turning 18 in a little over 2 weeks and I’m facing reality head on. I’m in love with a man that once was with my mother and he wants to marry me. Althought they never married or were engaged, this man came into our lives 9 years ago, and became a part of us. Eventually their relationship ended, because they never shared “big” feelings for each other, but stayed in contact because they shared business deals. My mother had critically damaged her economic stability in these years and my x sort-of-stepdad stayed in on the hard days.He and I became very close, as I was going through the roughest years of my life, and was a companion to a lonely girl. He helped me with my relationship with my father and 2 older siblings, along with everything from big to small. I became romantically involved with him at a young age, 12, and have stopped living with my mother for 1 year and am staying with him. As you can see my mother is aware of the situation , and was from the beginning, but I guess she knew this was very complicated and she could see the love we shared…these didn’t stop her from creating problems for us.
The problem I’m facing is my father and 2 older brothers who are not aware of the extent of our relationship. They think my mother and this man are still together and are completely unaware of how great of a help he has been in our lives. I want to leave everyone and escape with my love, but he doesn’t want to run away. I ,on the other hand, am not ready to live with the chaos that will be created in a few days. We generally move around together and have learned each other’s ways and now the time has come to show the world this is happening.
My relationship with everyone in my family is next to nothing, but that hasn’t stopped me from feeling guilty at times.
6 Responses to “ “Wondering What Will Happen Now…”
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get your head out of your ass and find somebody your own age, if you don’t, you will soon start to regret how things are going, but by then it will too late.
IMO this is one of the most serious problems that I’ve seen on this site for a long time. Your problems run alot deeper than what your dad and brother think..
You are being victimized by this man.. he is a serious pedophile.. I bet he had a history of taking advantage of other young girls in his life.. I’m saddened that your mother was aware of this situation and didn’t get you help.. This is SERIOUS this man has been involved with you since you were 8 years old and sexually since you were 12??
Please, find a good qualified therapist and get help with this situation, it’s crucial for your well being, please I beg you, this is at the very least statutory rape and will be very critical to your emotional health in the long run..
Do not discuss this with him, he will only talk you out of it.. Start at a county level or call a rape crisis hotline. Good luck, please let us know
I am sorry to be harsh…but getting into a romantic relationship with an older man at age 12, is abuse on his behalf and so wrong on so many levels. He could be charged with rape if you two were involved in a sexual relationship before you were 16 or in some countries/states 18 years old.
I don’t think ANY 12 year old is emotionally prepared to have sex, or a romantic relationship.
I am sure you do have very strong feelings for each other, but if you want to be together…I strongly urge you to seek out professional help before committing. I have almost no doubt if you stay together without it, you will end up divorced with in no time because I doubt your feelings are as easily defined as true love. And not the common feelings victims feel for their abusers after a certain period of time.
So… your mom dated a guy, barely knew him, brought him home and he molested you and she did nothing even though she knew about it… now you live with him and she’s upset?? You both need counseling and this “man” needs to go to jail for carnal knowledge of a minor. Your “love” for him is only thinly veiled resentment you have towards your mother for being a bad person and not doing anything to STOP him from molesting you.
Twelve is young. He took advantage of you.
On a practical level, there is not balance in this relationship, since he has been an adult and you have been a child.
On a legal level, he could be sent to prison for a long, long time.
the “man” is a child molester plain and simple. If you seriously think thats is ok then you have major problems you need to deal with.