What now?

After ten years our marriage has fizzled out into a complete bore. There is no love left, not even shared interests. We live together like room mates with no sex lives like accountants or nuns. And now I’ve gone and falllen in love with another woman and I’ve never fallen this hard before. And she does not even know it. It is with so much anticipation that I look forward to every time I run into her. Sometimes these are for scheduled meetings (work reasons) and it is the most amazing thing, those moments right before I see her and then to finally come round the corner and lay eyes on her. It is like heaven. She is the most beautiful, totally hot, completely cool woman I’ve ever met and I’ve never been this in love in my life. I want to be with her and make her happy.

So what now? I can not start an affair. I can’t keep on with this farce that is a marriage. I know what I want, though. I guess it is obvious.

9 thoughts on “What now?

  1. does this woman think the same about you? If not, you have no problem.

    Wife- talk and see if it’s worth saving, if not walk away, if so stay. Just being honest.

  2. And at one point you probably felt the same way about your wife. This will get old too for you real quick, then you’ll be moving onto something else. I know your type. Never happy.

  3. Yeah that crazy deep love you feel for the other women, that’s not as deep as you would have yourself believe. This happens because you are having so much trouble at home so you pick out the first attractive woman in a familiar situation and idealize everything about her. If home life is so hard then you obviously need to do what everyone is telling you to and go get help to deal with your problems. Either come clean and tell your wife you want a divorce or tell her you want to go to couples/sex counseling.

    DO NOT have an affair, if you get caught it’s going to destroy you in the divorce proceedings.

  4. Once you start going down that path of fantasizing and feeling love feelings for someone else, it’s hard to fix. Marriage counseling is for those of us who have already made up our minds…a show…so we can say, “I tried.” Sounds like your marriage is over. Talk to your wife about only the marriage issues…not this other woman you have a deep crush on. See where it goes from there. Don’t cheat on your wife. Keep everything on the up and up. You won’t regret doing the right thing.

  5. Put half as much thought and energy into your marriage as you’re putting into your fantasy, and maybe it wouldn’t be boring. It’s your fault your marriage isn’t ‘more’ (as much as it is your wife’s), but the only reason you’re smitten with hot-pants is because you’re bored.

    Get marriage counseling and stop pretending everything in your marriage is fine. Tell your wife it’s boring and that you need to spice it up. You know she feels the same way you do. Fix it together, or get out.

  6. You are feeling it right now because there’s a pending issues with your wife. For the past few weeks/months(?), you felt you are not loved or loved in return, then suddenly there’s a new girl which you think that you can give your love. My questions are…did you do something about your issues with your wife, even talk to her or share it to her what you are feeling right now? (maybe she is feeling it also…) did you felt “love” to other women when you are in love with your wife? These are my few questions which I think you should reflect it on. you should do “everything” in order to save your marriage, in case there will be no changes then you could say in clear conscience that you did everything.

  7. Be honest. Tell your wife. It will set you free and allow changes which need to take place take place, either fixing the marriage, or something else.
    Love is love

  8. I wish you were the married man I had a crush on. But he will never know and I would never have an affair. (he is married, I am not)

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