Very confused
Posted by Anon in Love on Oct 1st, 2010 | 11 commentsOkay so i guess i will just start at the beginning.
When i was 15 i met a boy, he was 18. We spent time together as friends and eventually it turned into something more, i fell in love hard, we were together for a year when my family finially put there foot down and told me i should not be involved with someone so much older, they told me i was not allowed to see him ever again. A few days later we ran away together,long story short i was arrested and taken back home and he was sent back to his town. We didn’t speak again until i was 22 years old when he found me on facebook, we started talking and he told me that he had desperately looked for me and tried to make contact me for almost a year after all of that stuff happened, all that time and i still loved him just as much if not more than when i was 15. Eventually we decided to try again, we visited each other and planned on moving in together in time. A few weeks before my 23rd birthday things got strange and he stopped calling me, a few days pass and finially he tells me he wont be coming to see me, that he is confused and freaked out and perhaps we should just slow it down. We didn’t talk again after that and i remember being so devastated over it all, it took me awhile to heal from it. Cut to now i am almost 25 and he makes contact with me again, tells me how sorry he is for being an idiot and says the reason why he did what he did was because he was afraid to get hurt again, i still love him. He wants me to move to the city he lives in and live with him, he tells me he wants to marry me and that after all this time he still loves me so much and wants this to happen.
I am so confused, while i do love him i am afraid that it’s going to happen the same as before, that he is going to get scared and back off. I have talked to him about this and he assures me that he has grown up and given it serious thought and wants this to happen for real. I guess i am just here to see what the anon on this board feel about my situation. If you want any more information just ask me and i will try my best to help.
11 Responses to “ “Very confused”
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Move on! He doesn’t deserve you. You’ll find someone btr
Maybe you should give it another try, don’t rush into marrage too soon, but get to know him more, start dating again, if he pulls this crap one more time it’s over, if he turns out to be good, then get married. But above all, make sure YOUR truly happy, no matter what choice you make. Good luck. : )
I’d give it another go, theres nothing wrong with him getting scared, it’s normal. He obviously wants you and if he can be mature about it now he’s older, then if u still have feelings for him, why not give things a chance. Gud luk
What a difficult situation.
The honest truth is that you don’t really know eachother anymore, because you’ve both grown and changed. What you do have is an intimate connection because you knew eachother very well in the past, therefore, it can be true that you know eachother better than, say, some of your close friends now. But remember that things have changed!
If you do pursue a relationship with him, my advice to you is to start out “fresh” this time. Go slow. Maintain a sense of independence (both of you) and don’t talk about the future (or jump into moving in together or getting married) until you really have given it time. Get to know eachother, all over again, first.
What you had as kids was wonderful, but, you were kids then. Now, as adults, see what is there.
Don’t do it! NEVER move to another city, country etc for a man it doesn’t work out. He has commitment issues and has proven it time and time again.
yout a real optimist arent you lol
Give it another go. The poor guy freaked out before after being hurt and going through all sorts of crap last time to keep you. He’s probably worried about your family and his and there reaction before. Now you are old enough things will work out hopefully. No need to rush into marriage though, maybe a long engagement.
my opinion is give him another shot as long has he treated you right the first go round. but take your time if he really loves you he will understand and take it as slow as you feel comfortable
Thanks for all of the advice guys, i think i’m going to give it one more try but take it a lot slower then we have before.
Aww…I’m glad to hear what you decided. If it’s been ten years since your first meeting and he still thinks about you, he must love you. I hope everything goes well. BEST OF LUCK.
Moving in with someone before you are married is never a good idea. Divorce rates are much much much higher, if you even get married at all. If you’ve been burned by this guy twice, I wouldn’t do it again.