This is why I will be alone.
Posted by anonymous in Love on Jun 11th, 2010 | 13 commentsI’ve always had a problem with physical contact especially when it comes being intimate with someone. and that especially means sex. i think sex is disgusting and impure. Its probably because i was abused by a driver that worked for my parents when i was a child.
I’ve never told anyone.
What i hated the most was everyone loved him. sometimes i fantasize about seeing him and taking a gun and blowing his brains out, so he would never abuse another child ever again.
i try to be perfect in every way, but the truth is, no one is going to want to be with someone who doesn’t want to have sex. i will be alone
13 Responses to “ “This is why I will be alone.”
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Hey there, sorry you had this experience. In the long run, that driver will get what they deserve.
Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in how you feel. Some people feel liek that because of their experiences and others because they were born that way. To learn more about asexual people visit these sites:
http://www.experienceproject.c.....sexual/420
http://www.asexuality.org/home/
It may not be the answer to everything, but I believe it could be a start for you. I wish you well and that you find that special someone that is waiting for you. Good Luck!
You will not be alone. talking abut the abuse is one way to help you get over the trauma. The man that did that to you was sick BUT when you find someone who loves and understands you ill be able to open up to them. They just have to be patient with you because of what happened and try to do things in a way that are comfortable for you. continue to talk about it to someone, maybe a therapist if you don’t want to tell your family yet..or ever. It will lose its hold on you. Take care and God bless.
You could do that.
Or you could tell on him and get some help. That’d probably be better for everyone.
The way you feel is normal for someone who’s been abused. There’s a ton of help out there if you want to stop feeling like that.
You really should talk to someone about this – a close friend or family member. Keeping abuse a secret your whole life will make this extremely difficult but you’ve got to do it for yourself.
Maybe you will change your mind in time about having sex but if you don’t it doesn’t matter. There are plenty of people who want more from a relationship than just sex. What happened to you is so unfair and you shouldn’t have to be the one left worrying and fearing lonliness. You are the victim and you will get through this in time. Stay strong and try and open up to someone – if you don’t want to talk to someone you know, try a counsellor? Things will get better, good luck.
i agree, go find a therapist that you like. the sex part will work itsself out if you talk about it, i believe. ai was sexually abused too, very badly. when people are sexually abused their sex drive will usually go one of two ways, either a person will become overly sexual or the opposite.
also perfectionism is another thing that’s common for abuse survivors, if you can learn about your symptoms, you can learn to manage them. it’s so unfortunate but one in four woman are sexually abused by the time they’re 18. don’t keep the secret anymore, it’s scary but get help, you’ll have alot more people on your side than you think. take care
I to was abused by 2 family members I held it inside until I turned 34 years old, I confronted one of them the other is in prison for raping children…they are brothers. By me holing this inside it made my relationships suffer…I too hated sex but liked it outside of my very good relayionships. I’m better now it helps to talk about it. Sex is loving and pure when it’s out of love so please don’t shut yourself out of finding love and wanting to please ur partner, IDK how you feel but I say talk about it to the Lord Jesus Christ and let him guide you. Thank him for your revelation and move on with your life. I garuntee you that truck driver has experienced nothing in life but death and he doesn’t even know why. He may even be burning in hell at this time.Believe me he got all he desreverd and he may still be getting it.
i also understand the feeling that everyone “loves” the man who molested you, the person who molested me was/is the same way: funny, charming good looking. it’s partly how they do well doing what they’re doing.
as for killing the mofo, i’m on COMPLETELY the same page with you, it’s so tempting. take care & be well, sister
Get Over It!!!!!!!!
brubear, I am personally hoping that you are raped anally by someone who is three times your size, that you have no help, and no way out! then you might have some inkling of how it feels to be a child abused.
you’re a low-life piece of crap to even suggest that we get over it and that rapists continue to be protected! you talking that way makes me think that you are probably some kind of sexual deviant as well.
IMO you’re either a survivor who refuses to look at your own problems, or maybe your a peeping-tom or have molested children yourself. F off and shut your yap, your a pathetic “man”
You don’t have to be a jerk you know.
>:(
YOUR A JERK…what is wrong with you…my friend gets rapped alot by this one guy and wont let me tell…were you brought up by apes???? IDIOT!
I’m so sorry, I’m sure you will find someone who loves you anyway Good luck. :)
No, there are people out there who aren’t looking for sex. Like me. I just want love and if I love someone I’ll have sex with them. Like my ex boyfriend. Who cheated on me with at least 20 ppl. He never loved me. He made the excuse that he “tried” to change but if he was trying he wouldn’t have done it. I hate how the world is filled with idiots like that. They’ll never know love. You seem to deserve love though.