RSSPregnant again
I had a baby when I was 16 and had no boyfriend because daddy decided a baby wasn’t his thing, afterward I continued to sleep around. Finally I had a real boyfriend and he abused me, I finally got out right before he began to hurt my daughter. I went back to sleeping around and never letting anyone love me and definitely not loving anyone else. I always tried to get men to fall in love with me and then cut them lose when they do. Finally someone came along who really genuinely began to love me and I didn’t know how to love him, I had to much hurt so instead I lured him into sleeping with him, taking his virginity and then breaking up with him. He really loved me and I really hurt him… now I think I’m pregnant. Why can’t I love anyone? Why do I treat others like shit to make myself feel better? Why do I do all this behind my daughters back and yet I wouldn’t want her acting like this when she gets older? Why though do I do this to myself? Why do I have no confidence that maybe someone really can love me and not leave me or not be mean to me? Why does it seem like Love can never be real in my life?
Anonymous on September 5th 2008 in Love
matt said on 06 Sep 2008 at 1:21 am # Quote
Hi:
I’m not one to give advice, but since your story reminds me of the one that I just went through, I think I’ll share.
Your profile is very similar to the woman who I just dated for eight months. I can tell you that she fell in love with me, then became so abrasive and so controlling that she made it very hard for me to be around. It was if I invaded her turf and that she would have to go into criticism to push me away. I didn’t like it. I told her so, too.
I thought to myself: Why be around this kind of energy? You’re better off without her. But, love is a funny thing. I loved her for what I wanted to see. We still hang around.
Finally, when she broke it off, I was devasted. I did everything I could do bring us back together again, but nothing worked. Why would I do that if I knew she wasn’t right for me? You see, sometimes we know it’s wrong, but commit the wrong anyway. In other words, the heartbreak had to do with me, not her. Perhaps this is true for the other man in your life.
Perhaps you can see that while you are accountable for pushing him away, that he is just as accountable for the expectations he put on the relationship.
But it really goes both ways. People should take responsibility for themselves as well as be respectful to the other person.
I know I would have been much more comfortable if the woman in my life would have taken responsibility for her actions. Instead, she made it look like I hurt her when in fact, she invited the hurt. She was setting me up all along. I see that now. It’s horrible, ridiculous.
Now, I could never, would never be able to be a friend, or to even look upon her with admiration.
This is very sad considering she said she loved me, I said I loved you a hundred times a day.
You just never know.
:o) said on 06 Sep 2008 at 8:37 pm # Quote
love yourself first and everything will fall into place:
loving yourself means accepting all the shit that you had done and will continue to do so in the course of your life…loving yourself means knowing and accepting the fact that YOU DESERVE to be happy and is WORTHY to be happy…
self-worth…you have it girl…love yourself…no one will love you like YOU DO!
~her~ said on 09 Sep 2008 at 6:28 am # Quote
I HAVE DONE THE SAME THING MYSELF… I NEVER REALLY KNEW THE MEANING MUCH LESS KNEW HOW TO LOVE ANYONE….THEN A GUY CAME ALONG THAT TRUELY LOVED MYSELF AND MY DAUGHTER AND I PUSHED HIM AWAY BY BEING A BITCH AND PRETENDING I DIDNT LOVE HIM AS MUCH AS HE LOVED ME, SECRETLY KNOWING I DID! I JUST FIGURED HE WLD NOT LEAVE…. WE HAD A BABY TOGETHER AND HES SIX MONTHS OLD AND HES GONE, HE SAYS HE LOVED ME BUT HE JUST CANT LIVE WITH ME. I KNOW HES GONE FOR GOOD AND IT HURTS. B/C WHEN I LOOK BACK HE LOVED ME AND I TREATED HIM LIKE SHIT..NO THAT HES GONE I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NITE B/C I KNOW HE WONT EVER BE THE SAME OR EVEN FEEL THE SAME AND IT HURTS…..
Me... said on 11 Sep 2008 at 1:21 am # Quote
Lesson learned I hope!
Making the same mistake twice, three times even doesn’t get sympathy only regrets… It’s important to learn to appreciate what you have and do what it takes to keep it. Relationships take work from both ends.
chris said on 12 Sep 2008 at 10:56 am # Quote
swallow a cup of cement and harden the *&(* up
imjussme said on 18 Sep 2008 at 4:19 am # Quote
well sometimes after gettin hurt so much, you seem to bury the feelings as the days go by. Its on yourself to love someone again. and it takes guts and risks. HUrt as much as you want, you just have to accept it. You only live once, and you cant sleep around and lure people to love you and then cut them off. Asides from how your feeling now, ever stop to think how much they feel when you cut them to? it take two to tango. One day, someday you’ll find that rite person, or why wont you just put asides love with a partner for awhile and focus on your daughter and if your prego yourself. be a role model.